I am responding to this ..

Question

In my high school course in biology, we are required to dissect frogs. I think this is cruel and pointless. Whatever we learn about frog's anatomy can be learned from a book. My teacher says that I must dissect the frog.

My response is..

I know some people think that dissecting frogs are wrong. However, it’s actually a great educational experience. Many science teachers consider dissecting animals a critical learning tool that every student needs to experience. Being able to actually open up an animal and see the inside of it is a lot different then seeing pictures of it in a textbook. For example, think of looking at the blueprints for a house. They will show you how the house is going to be layed out but you can’t actually tell what it is going to look like until you go inside it. Therefore, while some may think dissecting frogs is somewhat cruel, it is not pointless.
Think of it this way, how do you think surgeons learn how to perform surgery? Obviously they have to do it by getting hands on experience. Would you want a doctor operating on you who had never even seen inside a human body before? I wouldn't think so, so therefore you can learn a lot from a textbook but not everything that you would get from actually looking inside the animal.
With all that being said, I would follow your teachers instructions and go on with the dissection of the frog. You will learn a lot and in realize that it is not so cruel or pointless. You are technically not doing anything wring because the frogs are already dead. So, instead of being against this, make it be a positive learning experience.

Could someone look over my response and check for errors. Thanks!

Answer 1

It is ok, although your sentences seem to have a lot of comma clauses. Short sentences are more effective.

You avoided one of the prime concerns of animal rights folks: That the frog (or rabbit, or rat, or pig) didn't have to be killed at all, it was sacrificed for some teen to carve on. These are the same arguments against meat eating. Anyway, you didn't address it.

So on your sentences, go back and highlight all sentences with more that 12 words. Experiment with tightening them up. Folks get lost in following long sentences. Short sentences stick.

Answer 2

First sentence has a subject/verb disagreement. "disecting IS wrong".
"layed" should be "laid"
Use a comma after "laid out,but"
Semi-colon after Think of this way; how.
"Hands-on" is hyphenated.
I wouldn't think so. Therefore you can learn a lot from a textbook but not everything that you would get from actually looking inside the animal.
"teacher's instructions"
Leave the "in" off before "realize"
"wrong" is mispelled.
In the last sentence, leave "be" out.

Answer 3

what is colon?