In the shadows of the night, under the moon’s ghastly glow,
There lurked a vicious beast, with a hunger deep and low.
A raptor, sharp and clever, stalking prey with deadly grace,
But little did our hero know he’d soon be up in space.
Out in the wild, he thought he’d strut, feeling tough and bold,
Swagging through the brush, thinking life was pure gold.
But fate's a twisted bitch, and tonight it played the fool,
With a flick of its claws, this ain’t no goddamn school.
"Hey! Look at me!" he roared, like he owned the damn world,
But as he turned to swagger, jaws snapped and teeth twirled.
In a flash, his bravado turned to screams of sheer despair,
As the raptor sank its fangs, right into his hairy lair.
“Oh, shit!” he cried out, jerking in blind fright,
As the beast went for his jewels, carving shadows from the light.
With a crunch and a squish, the horror set the stage,
For the last few moments of this poor fool’s rampage.
“No, not my balls!” he howled, in a voice shrill with dread,
But the raptor cared not, savoring the taste of the dead.
It tore through flesh and sinew, leaving him a bloody mess,
While the moon bore witness to his unspeakable distress.
With a final savage chomp, it left him gasping, bare,
A lesson learned too late, in the wilderness of despair.
So remember, dear wanderer, if you roam the wild tonight,
Watch your back, keep your nuts safe; or you might just lose the fight.