Would someone edit my essay so far please.

Question

So far, I only have the introduction, the first paragraph and the conclusion.

I am arguing for school uniform.

"You know, if we had a uniform policy, it would make things better in this school." (Mitchell). Said by President Bill Clinton after seeing how much violence and bullying is done to students over their clothing. When most people think about school uniforms they picture well behaved private school children. However, now a days its not only private schools, lots of public schools are adopting the idea of wearing school uniforms in believe that they will help improve the overall conduct and academics of their students. Many don't believe in school uniforms because they are said to strip children of their individually. Nevertheless, with that being the only negative effect, school uniforms should be required in all public schools because not only do they cut down on the teasing and bullying but they also help students have a better focus on school while helping to save parents money on school clothes.

In today's society there is so much teasing and bullying in our schools. If you don't wear a certain brand of clothes or dress a certain way then you are considered "not cool". Requiring all students to wear uniforms would help in reducing the amount of bullying in our schools. Everyone would be wearing basically the same things so therefore be presented as equal. Students won't be an outcast because they can’t afford those $100 jeans or the new Nike tennis shoes. Students base their reputation and their friendships on what they wear instead of who they are. "The better brands you wear, the more popular you are, if you don't wear those things you get criticized" (O'Connell). Those are words from an actual high school student and she tells how popularity works in her school. It is sad to know that if you don't send your children to school in the most expense clothing, then they are going to get picked on. Bullying can be a very dangerous and serious matter. It has even been reported that students have been killed over the clothes they are wearing, one the many examples is Chris Demby. "In March, Chris Demby, a 10th grader at Franklin Learning Center in West Philadelphia, was shot and killed for his new Nikes" (Telander). Who would have thought that buying our children designer clothes would ultimately put their life in danger? If they were wearing uniforms to school parents wouldn't have to worry about their children getting mugged and injured over their clothing while at school since most students believe uniforms are very hideous.

In summary, school uniforms should not be a choice, they should be a requirement just as any other dress code. If students were to make a pro-con list, they would too realize that uniforms aren't such a bad thing after-all. There are a lot more advantages there are disadvantages. Uniforms will help decrease the bullying rate while allowing students to have a better focus on their academics. Also, these uniformed dress codes will help with the outrageous back to school shopping bill, which parents will greatly benefit from. School uniforms would be a great and helpful addition to our school systems and all public schools should enforce them.

Answer 1

The 2nd sentence, beginning with "Said" is incomplete. You need to add something like: "This quote was......."

well-behaved...

nowadays (written as one word) & its = it's (short for it is)

in believe = in the belief (noun)

parents' money (possessive)

Paragraph #2:

Students (plural) won't be outcasts (plural)

the more popular you are, if you don't wear those = run-on sentence. Put a semicolon after are; (and before if)

The last sentence is so long that if you try to read it outloud, you will see that 2 commas will help because they will give you a "pause" to breathe (catch a breath!) Suggestion: If they were wearing uniforms to school(+,) parents wouldn't have to worry about their children getting mugged and injured over their clothing while at school(+,) since most students believe uniforms are very hideous.

Paragraph 3:

after-all. (no hyphen) = after all.

more advantages (= than)there are OR "...more advantages than disadvantages." (end right there)

back to school (hyphens because the expression is functioning as an adjective) = back-to-school

Other suggestions. Many frown upon ending a sentence a preposition with! You might rework the penultimate sentence (2nd from end) = shopping bill, from which parents...etc.

addition to our school systems (plural? You have more than one system?) = ...our school system...

Sra