I think your paragraph is a little vague. And you need to watch your punctuation (why are there slash marks?). For further reading on the topic, if you need some, here are some essays and articles that discuss the question:
http://www.bing.com/search?q=the+impact+of+ww+ii+on+canada&form=EDGNTC&qs=PF&cvid=c215522e2c4e46cb9b804a8ddca64b30&pq=the+impact+of+ww+ii+on+canada&cc=US&setlang=en-US
I'm writing an essay based on the question "to what extent did world war 2 shape the identity of Canada"
I wrote the introductory paragraph (down below) but I was just wondering if someone could proofread it and let me know if there was anything else I could add/take and if it was clear.
Throughout its history, Canada has succeeded, albeit imperfectly, in reconciling/integrating the numerous legacies that have shaped its identity. Arguably one of the most major conflicts in history, the second world war was a fundamental occurrence that had been involved in the shaping/ of Canada, but to what extent did ww2 really shape the identity of Canada? There are many aspects that factor in to what we call “identity” – our culture, our experiences, our religion - or simply, our individuality. Correspondingly/In the same way, World War 2 had remarkably shaped Canada’s identity in regard to aspects such as the conflicted relations between English Canadians and French Canadians, its [generally close] ties between English Canadians and the British Empire, and the close proximity of English-speaking Canadians to [the military, economic and cultural powerhouse of] the United States.
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the assembly served as a model for other colonial legislatures
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