i wrote a sample sat essay... can you guys just give me some feedback as to how i should work to get my essays score higher?
PROMPT: IS THERE ALWAYS ANOTHER EXPLANATION OR POINT VIEW?
In this world, multiple points of views is inevitable. Though many might think that there is only one way, or a “fool proof plan” for everything, and that would make the world so much easier, but the truth is that there is always another way to figure it out. Using two personal episodes from my experiences, the “fool proof plan” theory can be proved wrong.
There are always many points of views. One day in my AP European History class, my teacher told us to all sit in or seats as she wheeled out a cart covered with a table cloth. When we were all seated, she revealed the cart, which was a display of rubber, ducks like a mountain maid from ducks. She then told us to draw the display. The final products, however, were all different because each person had a different point of view of the situation; what oh person sees may not be what the other person sees. She then related this to the documents for a Document Based Question type essay. For example, what would the difference be between a doctor and a patient concerning a medical malpractice lawsuit? Obviously the doctor would try to avoid it as the patient would pursue it because it favored the patient over the doctor. Every person would have a different view upon the situation and every person would approach a situation differently.
During book discussions in my Literature class, I would always debate issues with my neighbor Alena, because we had different point of views. In one of our books, As I Lay Dying there was one character, Vardaman, who I perceived as mentally ill, but Alena interpreted his lines in the book as “deep” and “philosophical” one statement Vardaman said was “my mother is a fish” I interpreted that as his lack of understanding of death because of his mental illness, but Alena thought it had a deeper meaning, that he says these things because he has an inner character that is undiscovered. Now obviously, we both disagree and there is no right answer to a book interpretation. This example shows that depending on the person, and their point of view, will determine a separate and different product.
There will always be “another explanation” I don’t believe anything is set in stone. The world would be too simple if there was only one way to do everything, and so far, as I described in my two events in class, it doesn’t matter what the situation is, there will always be numerous points of views.
4 answers
THANKS!!!
Overall, wordy, lacked a central thesis. The conclusion is weak. I suspect you can do better.
Mark: 3