How about people (young and older) who are physically with other people (family, friends) for a meal or some other reason, but spend their time checking email, texting, etc., instead of conversing with the people they are with in person?
Again, this is pretty good Check your grammar, though.
:)
Expository essay prompt:
Describe the evolution of communication in the last 20 years since the advent of the Internet.
Note: I wrote the essay in 15 minutes.
Please give me some feedback and rate my essay from 1 (lowest to 5 ( highest).
My essay:
In today's world, it is common for people to look down at the their iPhones or smartphones all the time. With the advent of the Internet, people tend to have more indirect social interaction, rather than in-person social interaction.
The use of the Internet can significantly decrease social interaction. For instance, students these days often e-mail to professors to ask questions instead of meeting the professor in person. Additionally, students would use google to find answers to their questions instead if using the professor. Even more, some university's tutoring services offer on-line tutoring, thereby resulting in less social interaction.
Besides more indirect social interaction occurring between the students and the professor or tutors, the same thing can occur in one's family. For example, instead of physically sending a hardcopy letter or making direct phone calls, some people post their invitation on Facebook and have the guests mark yes, no, or maybe if they would attend the party. Not only does the reliance of the Internet eliminates direct social interaction, but it can also cause problems for individuals without Facebook.
Although the Internet does have its advantages, such as providing more resources for students and providing convenience, it does have some drawbacks. Perhaps the major drawback is that people are no longer connected at a personal level. This implies that professors would not have adequate knowledge about their student to provide letter of recommendation. Even more, an over reliance of the Internet can lead others without access to the Internet or social networks to feeling excluded. With that being said, it is important for people these days to balance their social interaction.
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