I love it! It has such a serious, romantic quality, and then it surprises you with the humor at the end! :-)
My one suggestion is in the line where you say "for he is so amazing" I think you should add something like, "for he is so _____ and amazing." Something like handsome or some other good describing word.
If you make any changes, post it again, because I'd love to read it! :-)
Hi, I wrote this poem and I was wondering if someone could please edit it for me? Thanks
In my dreams, creeps up a guy,
Mysterious he is; as I know him not.
He smiles and I gaze-with a heartfelt sigh,
Daydreaming often of a true love knot.
His face personifies beauty,
From his perfect chin to his silken hair,
I would love to die for him as duty;
I wouldn’t even ever care.
When he pulls me close, I almost faint
For he is so amazing
He has a face of an angel and deeds of a saint
It’s suddenly hard to stop gazing
Then all of a sudden he falls and is dead
My eyes pop in shock
But I wake up and find myself in bed…
Stupid alarm clock!
The pattern is A B A B but I'm not even sure if all the words rhyme. Thanks again for the help
-MC
6 answers
Thanks! I'll try to add a word that fits because I need the meter of the poem to be even. There are definitely going to be more changes in it though, and I'll be posting them up so keep a lookout =) Thanks again Cassie!
-MC
-MC
I added 'strikingly amazing' to that line because I didn't want to make it too long.
-MC
-MC
That sounds good!
Thanks =]
-MC
-MC
Do you have a title if you don't it should be My Mystery Guy
My friend cassie told me to look at your poem i love itt!
My friend cassie told me to look at your poem i love itt!