Asked by Reina B.

for my reading class i need to "Write a short poem or commercial spot that includes one or more allusions and purposeful anaphora."

so i wrote a poem is this good

as I am taken away
from what was mine
I go back in memory
wondering how it is possible
that someone may enter
and take away what is my mine
as I am taken away
I am given another identity
for I am not the same person
I am just another masquerade mask
as I am taken away
I now am not a part of my culture
instead a part of theirs.

Can you find the anophora, allusion in this poem?
Answered by Writeacher
The anaphora is clear, but I'm not sure about the allusion.

Do you intend the allusion to be "another masquerade mask"?
Answered by Writeacher
If you intended "another masquerade mask" to be the allusion, it doesn't work; it's too blatant.

Please read the definition and examples for <i>Allusion</i> here:

http://www.uncp.edu/home/canada/work/allam/general/glossary.htm
Answered by Reina B.
no my allusion will be "trail of tears" how they made they took the native americans land and made them practice american religion
Answered by Writeacher
Sorry. That didn't come through to me as I read the poem.
Answered by Reina B.
its ok so is it good
Answered by Ms. Sue
Your allusion isn't clear to me either.

Answered by Reina B.
ok so how should i change it
Answered by Ms. Sue
I suggest you work in the phrase "Trail of tears" into your poem.

Answered by Reina B.
how is this?

as i am taken away
from what was mine
i wonder how people
can come into your land
and take it away
as i am taken away
i am given another identity
for i am not the same person
i'm just another person in
a masquerade mask
hiding all my worries, and pains behind
as i'm taken away
i remember i am not my own person
i now am not a part of my culture
instead i am American.
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