Directions: Read the emails that follow. On your answer sheet, explain what the sender did improperly and/or

Question

informally. Then, rewrite the email in a professional manner. Remember, these are emails sent from student to
teacher, and therefore need to be written formally (in a higher register).

To:
From:
Subject: none
Yo Melissa,
Uh...I am in your class and I need work. When is there going to be extra credit? I turned in a late
assignment from last month in the late work basket today. Why haven’t you entered it yet?
Steve
Directions: Read the emails that follow. On your answer sheet, explain what the sender did improperly and/or
informally. Then, rewrite the email in a professional manner. Remember, these are emails sent from student to
teacher, and therefore need to be written formally (in a higher register).

Subject: Hi Ms. Lorenzo
Wassup Mrs. Lorenzo?
How is your day going? Mine is going great. I am sitting here in art class and am supposed to be working
on a project, but I don't really want to. In fact, I don't really want to be in school. I hate school. My mom
makes me go because she says classes like English are "important.” I'm all like "whatevs mom.” English is
stoopid. Video games are where it’s at.
Anyway, I was looking online and it looks like you messed up my grade. You need to change it back
immediately or I will get in trouble. Can you explain this. Take care of this asap. Please and thx.
Have a good day! :)
Kevin Pepper
To:
From:
Subject: Jessica Lewinski missing class 9/1-9/5
hi mr. unes,
this is jessica lewinski and i am in your 3rd hour. i am going 2 b missing class september 1-5 cuz of a
funeral. i am sorry. is there ne possible way to get my work early? i would really appreciate it. i’m also
looking for extra credit bcuz I didn’t do the last asssinment.
thanks,
jessica

Answer 1

Issues with the Original Emails:

1. Tone and Language: The emails use informal language, slang, and colloquialisms (e.g., "Yo," "Wassup," "whatevs," "stoopid"). This is inappropriate for communication with a teacher.

2. Lack of Structure: There are no clear salutations or closings, which makes the emails feel abrupt and unprofessional.

3. No Subject Line: The first email has no subject line, making it difficult for the teacher to understand the context of the email at a glance.

4. Demanding Language: Phrases like “you messed up my grade” and “you need to change it back immediately” come across as disrespectful and presumptive.

5. Informal Abbreviations and Numbers: Use of numbers instead of words (e.g., "2," "cuz," "ne") is unprofessional.

6. Emotional Language: Expressing frustration or dislike for school in a casual manner is inappropriate in a student-teacher email.

Professional Rewrites:

Email from Steve:

---

To: Melissa
From: Steve
Subject: Request for Clarification on Late Assignment and Extra Credit Opportunities

Dear Ms. [Last Name],

I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to inquire about my recent late assignment, which I have submitted in the late work basket today. I noticed that it has not yet been recorded in the gradebook, and I would appreciate it if you could let me know when I might expect it to be entered.

Additionally, I would like to ask if there are any upcoming opportunities for extra credit to improve my grade. Thank you very much for your assistance.

Best regards,
Steve

---

Email from Kevin:

---

Subject: Inquiry Regarding My Grade

Dear Ms. Lorenzo,

I hope you are having a good day. I am writing to bring to your attention a concern regarding my grade. I believe there may be an error that resulted in my grade being lower than expected. Could you please review it and provide clarification?

I appreciate your help in this matter. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Kevin Pepper

---

Email from Jessica:

---

To: Mr. Unes
From: Jessica Lewinski
Subject: Absence Notification and Request for Work

Dear Mr. Unes,

I hope this message finds you well. My name is Jessica Lewinski, and I am in your 3rd hour class. I am writing to inform you that I will be absent from class from September 1 to September 5 due to a family funeral.

If possible, I would greatly appreciate any arrangements for me to obtain my assignments in advance so that I may stay up to date. Additionally, I am interested in any extra credit opportunities, as I was unable to complete the last assignment.

Thank you for your understanding.

Best regards,
Jessica Lewinski

---

These rewrites maintain a polite and professional tone while properly addressing the concerns raised in the original emails.