You touch on an important point, but don't really discuss it. Points of view on any topic can and sometimes do diverge based on one's life experiences. Greater diversity (with respect given to differing life experiences) ensure that more points of view will be considered. You really only make the point in your conclusion.
And you need to explain the relationship between diversity and efficiency.
Expository writing prompt:
Why is diversity in a workplace important?
Please give me some feedback.
It is not uncommon to hear employers emphasize the importance of diversity in a workplace. Diversity is important in a workplace because it creates an environment where the employees feel the sense of respect, thereby increasing productivity in their job.
Diversity promotes respect in effect making employers feel valued and increasing productivity. In a workplace where there is respect, employees will establish a steadfast relationship with their employers and commit to their service, thus increasing productivity in the company. The sense of respect and being valued benefit both the employers and the employee.
Productivity increases when employees are open and willing to share their ideas with their co-workers and employers. This can happen if diversity is promoted in the workplace. The more diverse employees, the more ideas there are to share to help improve or make the company more efficient, thus increasing productivity.
Overall, diversity in a workplace is important because it promotes respect where employees from different backgrounds feel valued and likely to commit to the employer. More importantly, it creates an environment where people are willing to share their unique ideas more openly and honestly, thereby benefiting the employer and the company.
1 answer
1 answer