Question

IS this a good thesis? School uniforms should not be required, because they discourage individualism, do not teach students to make responsible decisions, and this would only cause students to become rebellious.

Answer 1

Some teachers prefer shorter statements, while others would approve this with one correction.

Your last clause should be: "and may cause students . . ."

Note that "this would only" should be omitted so that you can keep the parallel structure.

Answer 2

Thank you

Answer 3

You're welcome.