I love your idea. I think some places you have too many words
Look at what I did to this first part
Inside a crowded box I lie
Hungry for three straight days
Irony, the cat kibbles are beyond my paw
I'm trapped in a vending machine.
This is my free verse poem about a cat stuck in a vending machine. Is it alright?
Inside I lay of a crowded box
Hungry for 3 straight days
The ironic part being that I was in a vending machine.
The fear made me shiver til’ my insides quivered
Would I ever get out of my swarming prison?
Maybe no one would ever notice the sad meows I managed to extract
Perhaps no one would see the long tail, sweeping back and forth and making the bags go crunch, crunch
But maybe someone would
And at last, someone did
Many people there were that night, when I was freed
The lights blazed my eyes
The people handled me gently,
And freedom felt more relieving than my condo back home.
Thanks
-MC
2 answers
OK, I'm gonna change up my words. Thank you!
-MC
-MC