This is a poem I wrote called Automne. Are there any mistakes?
Adieu, vive clarté de nos étés trop courts
Au claire de l’automne
Le bel automne est revenu
Un parfum de mélancolie émouvante
On sent tout le temps, en l’automne
Nous aimons bien cette saison
C’est l’heure exquise et matinale
que rougit un soleil soudain
Tombent les feuilles du jardin
feuilles partout
Quel que chose qui vous étonne
tout à coup
C’est un petit arbre tout rouge
un, d’une autre couleur encor
et puis, partout, ces feuilles d’or
Tombent des branches dépouillées.
Quand les arbes n’ont plus de feuilles
Petite feuille jaune vote dans l’air
belle automne
J’aime l’automne
2 answers
I'll send this to our French expert. Please check back later.
I hit "post" repeatedly but I didn't see it posted. Now, of course, I have lost it.
I am attempting this on the iPad, because I have left the computer for today. I'm not feeling too well after my surgery.
The first stanza looks OK.
Stanza 2, line 3, change "que" which is objective to "qui" which is subjective. Also, add "des" before "feuilles" in the last line.
Stanza 3, "quelque" is all one word. Why is there no final "e" on "encor?"
In the final stanza, I'd add "Une" in front of "petite feuille."
Sra (aka Mme)
I am attempting this on the iPad, because I have left the computer for today. I'm not feeling too well after my surgery.
The first stanza looks OK.
Stanza 2, line 3, change "que" which is objective to "qui" which is subjective. Also, add "des" before "feuilles" in the last line.
Stanza 3, "quelque" is all one word. Why is there no final "e" on "encor?"
In the final stanza, I'd add "Une" in front of "petite feuille."
Sra (aka Mme)