Revise the following paragraph, improving it without changing its overall meaning. Pay particular attention to any potential sentence fragments.
I love Impressionist art. When I was a child, I went to the museum. The art museum. I stood in front of Monet's painting of flowers. Reflections of Clouds on the Water-Lily Pond. The lilies were pink and blurry, with flat, green leaves. The water was a deep, thick blue and green. When I stood in front of the painting. The water looked very real. I thought that if I touched it. My hand would get wet. The painting was as wide as the room and very tall. Almost six feet. To see the top of the painting. I pretended I was a frog. Who lived in the pond. Hopping in place. I probably looked pretty silly, but nobody seemed to mind.
2 answers
This assignment is designed to help you understand how to write. It does you no good if someone else does it for you.
In case you're still working on this ...
Read the paragraph aloud TO SOMEONE! It will sound choppy because there are too many short sentences and fragments.
THEN work on putting sentences together to make more naturally sounding sentences (not sounding like a 1st or 2nd grader, just learning to write).
When you think you're finished, read it aloud TO SOMEONE again. You should be able to hear the improvement.
Finally, to make sure there are no fragments or runons, read it aloud from the last sentence to the first sentence. Correct any that are not complete sentences or are 2 or more sentences run together.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/runons.htm
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/fragments.htm
Read the paragraph aloud TO SOMEONE! It will sound choppy because there are too many short sentences and fragments.
THEN work on putting sentences together to make more naturally sounding sentences (not sounding like a 1st or 2nd grader, just learning to write).
When you think you're finished, read it aloud TO SOMEONE again. You should be able to hear the improvement.
Finally, to make sure there are no fragments or runons, read it aloud from the last sentence to the first sentence. Correct any that are not complete sentences or are 2 or more sentences run together.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/runons.htm
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/fragments.htm
9 answers