Plz give some helps for my appeal letter. Thanks

Question

Dear Undergraduate Admission Office,

I recently received a letter from Purdue University informing me that I have been offered an admission to The College of Engineering for Summer 2007 at Purdue University Park campus because of the highly competitive admission for Fall 2007. However, my former high school just told me that there were some errors in my original transcript so I have to send the updated one to admission office. In my senior year, I¡¯ve made significant improvements both in and out of school. My recent unweighted GPA is 3.86 in honor and AP classes. One of my projects won the second place in an individual exhibit in National History Day in Montgomery County. I will participate in the state level contest at the end of this month. Purdue is my first choice even though other ten also well-known schools in the nation offered me admission and provided me very generous scholarships. Through the visit of Purdue few weeks ago, the accepted student reception held in Maryland by Purdue representatives, and many phone contacts with staffs and current students in Purdue, I found that Purdue is the school I would like to stay in the next four years. And the College of Engineering attracts me mostly because of its world-class faculties, facilities and learning environments.
In the past months after I heard from Purdue, I tried to convince my parents to allow me enroll in Purdue in the following summer, but they insisted asking me for three months full-time working to gain both experience and money to support my college tuition for the incoming academic year, since the college tuition is too high for me and my family. I even argue this with my father for many times. But still, I don¡¯t want to give up the opportunity of studying in Purdue in the future.
Now the final date is approaching, would you please reevaluate my application and transcripts and consider me to the 2007 Fall Admission? Copies of my transcripts and other supportive documents are enclosed with this letter.
If you have any questions or need any additional information, please contact me at _____.
Thank you for your time and attention.

Sincerely,

Excellent, except for the sentence " I even argue this with my father for many times". Change that to read something like My father is firm on this.

I would address this not to the admissions office, but to the Dean of Admissions, and start the letter with Dear Dean XXXXX, if you know her name.

You understand that Purdue is space limited: it is not a matter of your being accepted, somebody else has to get the axe or decline. There are just so many spaces. But that is not unheard of, many years ago Purdue accepted me in Engineering, and I declined (I went to the Univ of Texas, a better school).

Good luck.

Also see my comments on your last post:

http://www.jiskha.com/display.cgi?id=1176431669

Thank you, MattsRiceBowl and bobpursley!
I am going to print it out and send it to the school today!

Btw, I don't really get what bobpursley said, did you mean there are too many people who accepted not going to the school finally? But I heard that Purdue accept a lot of applicants every year.

And many of them enroll in.