please help me as soon as you can please check my letter before i will submit to office thank you very much,

MAY 22, 2011

FROM: IAN YAMCO
PHOTOLAB OPERATOR
EMPLOYEE CODE:

SUBJECT: EMERGENCY LEAVE

TO: MR. PRABUNATHAN
GENERAL MANAGER
TECHNO-BLUE

DEAR SIR,

My father had passed away just recently month of May 17,2011.He died in Canada and his dead body will be brought to Philippines on July 2011.I intend to go to Philippines this coming JULY 5,2011 to attend for the burial of my father. I am suppose to go for my annual vacation next year 2012 , but for the emergency reason that my father died , I will go to Philippines earlier than my plan.

I hope that you will allow me to go to Philippines this July 5, 2011 for 60 days.
Thank you very much for your kind consideration regarding this matter.

RESPECTFULLY YOURS,

IAN YAMCO

2 answers

After "just recently" add "in the" with a space after the comma in the date = May 17, 2011 and later July 5, 2011 Then 2 saces after the final period.

"brougt to" add "the" (2 places)

"to attend" and drop the word "for"
I am supposed (final "d")

At the end, add another "the" in front of Philippines.

It is not customary to use capital letters. Capital letters are harder to read.

Sra
It is not usual to refer to 'dead body', 'remains' is the usual word/euphamism.