Please give feedback on the below acrostic poems. I am in 9th grade so base it off of that.
Follow me
Over the rainbow
Outside reality
Towards the stars
Sprint towards happiness
Taciturn smiles whisk onto faces (or tackle fears or trust the path)
Evaporating behind
Pitter, patter
Silence, slowly dissapear
Slowly precipitate over horizon
Unveil a new day
New chances
Radiating beauty
Illuminate the heavens
Scarlet, orange, yellow
Enchanting
The poem below is supposed to be a personification poem.
Success
Flowing yellow hair whizzes by,
faster than a mistake.
A daunting call in the background,
failure not far behind.
Only a glimpse is seen,
as she sprints across the pavement,
rain drizzling across her face.
Failure still is close,
a mocking laugh,
as he slashes rain away.
For nothing can rid him
of the immense pain.
Finally shes slowing,
an abrupt turn follows,
a smile whisks upon her face.
Reflects into his eyes
he turns and funs,
gone is the fun.
She has healed him inside.
She stands there with the raindrops,
as joy drips down her cheeks.
She crumbles and I blink..
A glimpse of yellow flashes in your eyes.
Feedback for all poems and any changes to be made. Please be tough on me :)
2 answers
2nd poem - I think precipitate has too many syllables. Maybe peeks? Otherwise, I like it.
Verrry good personification.