Paragraph 2

Background
Your favorite cousin has moved to your town and is looking for a job. Her previous experiences are working as a cashier and sales clerk at two department stores. You know she plans to apply to similar stores in your town. But you also know she is a perfect match for a job opening as a reliable assistant to your boss. You know she has the skills, though she doesn’t think she is as capable as she is, and you’re sure she’d be good at this job.

Your goal is to persuade your cousin to apply for the job. You email her a paragraph explaining the specifics of the job and the reasons she should apply. You want to convince her that she has the job skills required. You’ll use an informal tone, of course, but will take care to use correct business writing to show her that you take your recommendation seriously.

Hey Claire!
I am excited you have returned to Treasure Cay! The jobs here are in high demand for workers, since after the storm. Last week I was having a conversation with my boss Mr. Miller, and he is looking for an Assistant. Due to the increase in sales over the last year, he is desperate to find an Assistant. After we spoke my mind went on you and I know you would be perfect for this position. Your ability to be patient and work quickly in a demanding situation is the reason you should apply for this job. This position allows you to do everything you love. For example, you will be able to:
Organize files
Schedule appointments
Receive guests
Handle incoming calls and other communications
Organized travel by booking accommodations.
You are a very detailed, and organized person. At our company, we have great employee benefits that would be good for you and your family. I encourage you to apply for this position because I have already put in a word for you with my boss. I believe that this position will open other doors for you, and provide you with stability. I look forward to seeing your application on our desk very soon. I hope to hear from you soon.

Your favorite Cousin

1 answer

since the storm — omit “after”
Organize (not Organized)
No comma after “detailed”

Otherwise, it reads well.
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