Background

Question

Your favorite cousin has moved to your town and is looking for a job. Her previous experiences are
working as a cashier and sales clerk at two department stores. You know she plans to apply at similar
stores in your town. But you also know she is a perfect match for a job opening as a reliable assistant
to your boss. You know she has the skills, though she doesn’t think she is as capable as she is, and
you’re sure she’d be good at this job.
Your goal is to persuade your cousin to apply for the job. You e-mail her a paragraph explaining the
specifics of the job and the reasons she should apply. You want to convince her that she has the job
skills required. You’ll use an informal tone, of course, but will take care to use correct business writing
to show her that you take your recommendation seriously.
Process
1. Using your imagination, create the kind of skills the job as boss’s assistant requires. Make up
names for your boss and the company, as well as any facts that might help you prove your case
to your cousin. Freewrite about the skills you’ve seen her show in other settings and about how
you can convince her to use those abilities in this position. In addition, consider personality traits
that show she would work well with your boss. Also make up details and figures about how this
job will benefit your cousin personally and professionally.
2. Circle the information your cousin most needs to hear to be persuaded to apply for this job. You
won’t be able to use everything you made up. Organize the details and explanation using an order of importance pattern.

Have I done this correctly?

Dear Tiffany,
I became ecstatic when I discovered you were back in town, and looking for work. My boss, Hack Ayers is currently seeking an assistant. He is the owner and operator of Ayers Bank Real Estate. I feel you should defiantly apply for this position. The skills required for the position are, answering phone calls, taking messages, setting up appointments, and occasionally scheduling business meetings. You were always open to new experiences, compassionate, exceptional in character, and extremely good at multi-tasking. It would be gratifying to have you on our team.
All the best,
Amanda Honeycutt

Answer 1

This looks pretty good -- EXCEPT --

I hope your cousin doesn't defiantly apply for this position! With that kind of attitude, she wouldn't ever get an interview.

You might also point out that she has excellent people skills, and your boss would consider her a real asset to the company.

Answer 2

Do I need a comma between company and because? Do you think this will finish my paragragh?
Dear Tiffany,
I became ecstatic when I discovered you were back in town, and looking for work. My boss, Hack Ayers is currently seeking an assistant. He is the owner and operator of Ayers Bank Real Estate. I feel you should definitely apply for this position. The skills required for the position are, answering phone calls, taking messages, setting up appointments, and occasionally scheduling business meetings. Mr. Ayers would consider you a real asset to the company because of your excellent people skills. You were always open to new experiences, compassionate, exceptional in character, and extremely good at multi-tasking. It would be gratifying to have you on our team

Answer 3

Ahh -- much better! :-)

No, you don't need a comma between company and because.

Answer 4

Thanks!!

Answer 5

You're welcome.

Answer 6

iam having a test for tomorrow about how to write a paragraph, and i need help because i don't know how to start.