Is this a good thesis for my research paper.

Question

Although s are deprived of same-sex marriage, they are stripped of their respect,equal rights and financial security; therefore, the Federal government must pass a law allowing same-sex marriages

Answer 1

It seems as if you need a different word from "Although" -- it doesn't make sense as it is.

Answer 2

Thank you I will continue to work on thesis post my results later

Answer 3

Although s are equal members of society, they are stripped of their respect,equal rights and financial security; therefore, the Federal government must pass a law allowing same-sex marriages

Answer 4

I have made changes to my thesis as follows:
Although s are equal members of society, they are stripped of their respect,equal rights and financial security; therefore, the Federal government must pass a law allowing same-sex marriages

thank you in advance for your assistance

Answer 5

Guess no one agrees since no comment has been added