Is this a good introductory paragraph for a persuasive essay? If not, can you help change it or add on to it?

Question

Everyday people come in contact with illegal aliens in some way or form but they just don't it. Often it is hard to tell because an illegal alien may look like the average person. Illegal immigration is a growing problem in the United States. Some may argue that illegal immigrants keep the economy moving slowly by filling low-wage jobs but it has also left a negative impact on the United States: taxpayers are paying for state services, overcrowding in certain places, and immigrants fleeing to other countries after committing a crime.
Should it be negative impact or negative effect?

Also in the beginning I was going to write : People walked down the busy streets of a city everyday. They casually walk to their destination as people of all ages, genders, and ethnicity pass by. Hundred rushed by them. They don't know a single thing about them and see them again, therefore, they aren't really important to them. They are regular people leading
lives. What if at least one person who they passed by was keeping a secret? Something that could damage their reputation or career or life. What if they were living in the United States illegally?
I didn't write this because I felt that
it was long and was not good at all?

I know only in third person but I'm not allowed to use first or second person.

Answer 1

You haven't proofread this very well. A word is missing from your first sentence.

What is your thesis statement?

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html