I am not very good at writing essays and I am having trouble with my first paragraph of a persuasive essay on smoking. Could you please give me feedback on what i could fix to make it better? thank you!

Question

We’ve all seen them, the person that is smoking in a park and leaves the bud were a child is going to play or causes an asthmatic a sudden attack. I believe that smoking in a public venue should be banned. My first reason is second hand smoke is extremely harmful. Next is the amount of litter created by cigarette buds and lastly children should not be exposed to smoking at such young an age. This leads me to my question should people be allowed to smoke in public for their own enjoyment even if it puts the rest of us at risk?

Answer 1

DON'T start any paper's first draft by writing the introduction! How can you introduce a paper that you haven't written yet?

Follow the writing process, whether you're writing for science, history, English, or whatever:

Prewriting: Brainstorm, research, plan, outline, thesis statement

Writing: Write first draft by starting with section II of your outline; write the introduction after the body of the paper is written; write the conclusion last.

Polishing: Revise, concentrating first on the body of the paper, then the intro, then the concl (revision = making sure ideas are logical and sequential and support your thesis); proofread (spelling, grammar, usage, etc.)

Do you have a thesis yet? Have you done your brainstorming (and maybe research) yet? Have you written an outline?

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/catalogue.html#org
from http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/catalogue.html

http://www.angelfire.com/wi/writingprocess/

http://www.ipl.org/div/aplus/
Click on Step by Step for the process. Click on Info Search for help with researching.

http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/
Check in the Essay & Research Paper Level.

Let us know.

Answer 2

Thank you so much. The links helped me alot!