I am doing a persuasive essay on the war against drugs and my thoughts towards doing drugs are against it. I need help with creating a thesis for my essay here is what I came uo with can someone help me please.

Question

1. Drugs in reality may seem cool, but drugs aren’t cool when they lead to crime, health issues or even death, saying no to drugs is what’s cool.
2. Sure drugs may seem cool and may make a person feel good, but it only last for so long, saying no to any type of drug is okay.

Answer 1

The second is better than the first, but it still needs work. For one thing, there's a run-on there; it's really 2 sentences, with the second independent clause starting with "saying" -- but before you work on fixing it, read through these:

http://blog.eduify.com/index.php/2009/06/21/5-tips-on-how-to-write-a-strong-thesis-statement/

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html

Let us know what you decide.

Answer 2

How about this thesis tell me if this sounds any better:Drugs in reality may seem cool, but drugs aren’t cool when they lead to sub sequential events, don’t be ashamed to say no to drugs.