The article would benefit by separation into paragraphs. One should come after the second sentence, where you start giving the period-by-period details, following a summary. There should be commas after "... in the first period", "..in the third period","..almost been lost" and "..the most intense". You might mention which goals were scored on power plays, if any.
You have the makings of a pretty good sports reporter, but need to work on punctuation.
How does this sound?
It was a close call on Tuesday, December 18th for the Vernon Vikings. The Vikings beat the Bernards by the skin of their teeth with a close score of nine-eight. In the first period Tyler Blankman, and Bryan Peterson scored the first two goals with the assist of Jeff Gallo. The third goal was scored by Bill Lhotsky with an assist from Jason Romanelli. Jeff Gallo and Bryan Peterson scored the forth and fifth goals in the second period with the assist of Tyler Blankman. The third period was definitely the most intense with four goals scored by Vernon. Bill Lhotsky and Jeff Gallo scored again, Jason Romanelli with an assist to Gallo. With an assist from Gallo and Lhotsky, Jesse Goodrich scored the eighth goal of the game. With about forty-five seconds left in the third period the Bernards tied up the score to eight-eight. When hope had almost been lost Tyler Blankman scored the winning goal in the last twenty-seven seconds of the game.
1 answer