You repeat yourself over and over again. Make your point and leave it alone, not make it over and over. You have buried the most important contrast between the two articles. One is a first-person account, the other a journalistic account. You do make that point, but rather more obliquely. Polish this up, and you'll have your essay.
If you are not sure of the difference between a first-person account and a third-person account (a journalistic report in this case, we can direct you to a website that will explain.
Hi can you see if this constructed responce makes sense, or if I need to clean it up or add anything to it. thanks!
I needed to compare and contrast the two versions of "the great chicago fire" and also tell how the format of each passage allow the author to add details and information to support his/her purpose.
There are many ways to compare and contrast the two versions of the stories “The Chicago fire”. The first version differs from the second version in many ways. Some ways is that in the first story the person lost materialistic things and in the second others actually lost their lives. Another is the structure between the two stories in the first story it is just telling you how one person and her mother overcame the fire and in the second one it tells you the information about this fire and how it left many people. In addition, there are similar things as well about the two stories. One way is that both talks about fires that lead to destruction of homes, lives and belongings. In the first story they lost materialistic things such as a sewing machine, shoes and much more. And in the second 300 people were dead and 100,000 people lost their homes. Secondly the structures of the stories are different. The first story comes from one person’s point of view about her and her mother. The second comes from a more informational background and give the details about how many people lost their lives and homes. In the first story the girl and her mother had to leave their home and travel to a place where the smoke wasn’t heavy and had to start all over because of the fire. And in the second story they talk about how the fire destroyed everything leaving people homeless and others dead and how the fire quickly went east and north. Wooden houses, commercial and industrial buildings, and private mansions were all consumed by this fire. The similar ways of the stories is that they both talks about how people lost things when the fire occurred. In the first story the girl and her mother lost their home, belongings and other things and had to start over. It tells you how she didn’t have any shoes and another girl gave her shoes so she could play outside when they got themselves together and a place to stay. And in the second they lost everything in the big Chicago fire, 300 people were dead, 100,000 people were homeless, and $200 million worth of property was destroyed.
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thanks, can I repost when I corrected myself?
Yes, you may. I am in and out, but I'll try and catch it. Ms. Sue can also help.
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