"Give what you have, not what you want in the future"(This is the title)

Question

One weekend, my mother decided to visit her mother in Detroit.
Upon getting to Detroit she gets word from a local resident that the city was damaged terribly by a huge storm. The local also adds that everyone was able to get out before the storm destroyed the place. Upon reaching their destination, the people are shocked to see that the shelter is only really able to support a certain number of people and not one person more. So the people of Detroit decide that they should just give up and go back home and live in a disastrous area rather than be over-crowded. Upon hearing the people say that they were going back home to live in the dissaster area, my mother tells everyone that they can probably live with her brother in his home. But after reaching her brothers' home, she realized that her brother would never allow tons of strangers to live with him and his family. After the locals find out they can't stay, they get angry and attack my mother while over her home.

Answer 1

What is your question.

First, check your use of verbs... you are writing about something that occurred in the past, but you are using present tense verbs.

Answer 2

Writeteacher told me what revisions to make. I have to write a family story in the form of a parable

Answer 3

http://www.jiskha.com/display.cgi?id=1258695329

It's better. And, yes, I didn't mention the present tense verbs because it's a parable. Those can usually be in either past or present, as long as you're consistent throughout.

Double-check that possessive -- one brother or more than one?

"...while over her home." = They were flying or floating over her home??

Answer 4

It's just one brother. I meant to say "while taking over her home"

Answer 5

one brother~~> singular possessive = brother's

more than one brother ~~> plural possessive = brothers'