For a project I have to come up with some allusions in a couplet format and I am iffy on how to write my own.

Question

I was wondering if these were ok.

1) Their death by disease
Was not what they pleased. (I was going for a historical allusion to the Native Americans)

2) The town soon to be gone
But was rescued by dawn. (A historical allusion to what happened in Jamestown)

Answer 1

1. OK

2. There is no complete verb here, so it doesn't make sense to me. Please revise.

Answer 2

And would these work as well?
3) They claimed the foreign land
And took it by the hands.
4) The Natives’ lives turned black
When the strangers came packed.
(both historical allusions to what the european settlers did to the natives)

Answer 3

3 seems OK.

4 -- "came packed" = ???