Ethnicity refers to the group or groups one belongs to based on sharing a distinctive culture,
language, religion, or national heritage. Bengali is an ethnicity shared by people from
Bangladesh and parts of India. In this essay, Momotaz Rahman writes about her identity as a
Bengali-American.
As you read, take notes on how paragraphs 12-13 connect to the text’s central ideas.
As a big fan of Jhumpa Lahiri,1
the quote that
struck me the most was;
“It didn’t matter that I wore clothes from
Sears; I was still different. I looked
different. My name was different. I wanted
to pull away from the things that marked
my parents as being different.”
Similar to Lahiri, I grew up in the United States
but my ethnicity is Bengali. My parents were
both born and raised in Bangladesh with
culture still burning in their blood regardless
of the countless years spent in America.
Growing up, I identified myself as “Bengali-American.” Many people who are given a different
culture by their parents but are growing up in the United States have the same problem that I
did. I cannot identify what I am without that hyphen. It is neither my weakness nor my strength.
It is simply who I see when I look in the mirror.
Growing up with Bengali parents who immersed me in the culture of my ancestors clashed with
the culture and values I was getting from growing up in Texas. Not only was I learning American
culture, but also the southern traditions. I always felt I was struggling with myself to define me.
The pressure of society and my peers did not help that process but at the same time is the
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1. Jhumpa Lahiri is an award-winning American author of Bengali descent.
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reason why I identify myself with a hyphen.
In Bengali culture, most things are differentiated between male and female. There are some
things that are to be followed by girls only such as cooking, cleaning, sewing, etc. Girls are
taught these things so when they are married they will be successful in their in-laws’ house. In
most cultures, it is ideal for women to be at home while men make the money.
All our festivals, whether it be Boishaki Mela (celebration of spring) or our Independence Day,
are celebrated with dancing, singing, and music. Dance is gender-specific in our culture and is
instilled in us. All girls are expected to be light on their feet and graceful. Fortunately, I fell in
love with it and I’d like to take pride in saying that I am good at it.
I did not completely grow up with these traditions because the world is evolving, so the culture
that my grandparents followed has been altered due to these changes. Women now are
expected to be educated as well as be a homemaker. Education is more important than the
skills that will keep my future husband happy. It was what my parents saw as the only way to be
successful.
I grew up in Richardson, Texas — a predominantly white school and neighborhood. I always
thought I fit right in, especially since I didn’t factor the color of my skin or my South Asian
features any different from my white counterparts. I figured my classmates saw me the same
way they saw each other.
Except when my parents showed up. I remember at all school events, my parents would stick
out like a sore thumb. In all reality, almost everything about me was different, to my brown
hair/eyes, my olive complexion, and my ability to speak a language my peers have never even
heard of. I was probably the only Bengali, let alone South Asian person my peers have ever
encountered. To be honest, I was embarrassed by how my mom dressed and how she could
not speak English like the other parents. I always wished my parents could be like my
classmate’s parents since my mom was the only one who showed up to parent-teacher
meetings in a salwar kameez (traditional Bengali pantsuit).
My peers made me feel as if I was an alien because of how different I was. I too used to hate the
taunts I’d get from the Latino guys making fun of the fact that I was “Indian” and all the strange
questions they asked. I never really cherished my culture as much as I should have back then
because I was constantly looking for ways to be Caucasian/American so the teasing would stop.
Even with my Bengali friends, I was different because I was much more Americanized and they
would always mention I was so “modern.” I never fit in with any one side completely. I definitely
felt confused.
I could never fathom what exactly to classify myself as, Bengali or American? I loved the culture,
morals, life, and everything else my Bengali culture taught. I loved the traditional sari, speaking
a unique language, my unique physical features and, of course, the food. At the same time, I
enjoyed the independence, privacy, food and freedom that I felt connected to in the American
culture.
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"The Struggle of Deciding Between Being Bengali or American" by Momotaz Rahman, from Brown Girl
Magazine. Copyright @ 2017. Used with permission. All rights reserved.
Unless otherwise noted, this content is licensed under the CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 license
As I grew up, I started to understand myself better and I realized no one said you ever had to
choose one ethnicity. I began to understand that both cultures were a part of my identity. I
think I felt the struggle of both sides of me pulling to pick one because of my peers and even
my parents. It was the pressure of society to choose what defined me culturally and ethnically.
I realized that no one should be able to decide what I see when I look in the mirror or what I
feel defines me. I am Bengali-American because I have the melting pot of both cultures. In some
ways, I feel that I get the best of both worlds. I get to experience this rich, colorful, exciting
culture through the traditions, values, and beliefs that my parents have passed on.
It has also made me more open to other cultures because of my ethnicity; I am much more
tolerant of people who are different. I will pass on the core values and traditions to my children
just as my parents did for me. Although I love this culture, growing up in Texas has instilled
some local traditions in me that my parents may not be as comfortable with.
Some mention that it is unfair that I pick and choose what I want to follow. My question to them
is why not? No one has laid down a rule that I cannot be a part of both cultures. I could never
imagine just picking up one side. I am fully immersed within both and I intend to keep things
like this.
My parents felt that no matter where in the world we live in we will always need our roots to be
the foundation of our identity. I have adapted to celebrating both cultures in my life and
appreciating everything that I have experienced. Many people have horror stories of being
bullied by their peers for being different but I took all the snares, insults, laughs and
empowered myself to stand strong on my ground. I can proudly say that I am Bengali-American
and there is no longer any confusion.
11 answers
In paragraphs 12-13 of Momotaz Rahman's essay, a significant evolution in her understanding of identity and culture is evident. These paragraphs encapsulate her journey of realizing that she does not have to choose between being Bengali or American; rather, she can embrace both cultures as integral parts of her identity. This realization connects to the central ideas of the essay by emphasizing the complexity of living between two cultures and the struggle for self-acceptance.
Cultural Duality: Rahman articulates the tension she felt between her ethnic background and the American culture she was raised in. Initially, she struggled with societal pressures to identify as one or the other. However, her evolving perspective allows her to embrace the concept of being a "Bengali-American," affirming that both cultures contribute to her identity and enrich her life experiences.
Empowerment through Acceptance: The acknowledgment that both cultures shape her identity serves as a turning point for Rahman. She expresses pride in her heritage and the lessons her parents instilled in her, indicating that understanding and acceptance have empowered her to navigate her duality confidently. This empowerment echoes throughout her essay, reinforcing the idea that identity is multifaceted and personal.
Cultural Appreciation: In these paragraphs, Rahman highlights that her experience in Texas has also enriched her identity by introducing her to local traditions. By embracing a wide range of cultural practices and values, she builds a sense of connection to both her Bengali heritage and her American upbringing, illustrating how cultures can coexist and complement one another.
Foundation of Roots: The assertion from her parents that roots are essential to one's identity underscores the importance of cultural heritage in shaping who she is. It suggests that while she adapts to include American traditions, her Bengali roots remain a significant foundation, reinforcing the importance of heritage in understanding one's place in the world.
In conclusion, paragraphs 12-13 connect deeply with the essay's central themes of cultural identity, acceptance, and the richness of navigating multiple cultural realms. Rahman's journey signifies a reconciled identity that celebrates the blend of her Bengali and American experiences, suggesting that one's ethnic and cultural background can be a source of strength rather than a point of contention.
11. What central conflict does the author describe in her experience growing up?(5 points) Responses A) Choosing a career path A) Choosing a career path B) Balancing Bengali and American identities B) Balancing Bengali and American identities C) Deciding where to live C) Deciding where to live D) Understanding a new language
The central conflict that the author describes in her experience growing up is B) Balancing Bengali and American identities. This conflict is reflected in her struggle to navigate and reconcile the differing cultural expectations and values stemming from her Bengali heritage and her American upbringing.
12. Where did the author spend her childhood, as mentioned in the article?(5 points) Responses A) New York, New York A) New York, New York B) Richardson, Texas B) Richardson, Texas C) Los Angeles, California C) Los Angeles, California D) Miami, Florida
The author spent her childhood in B) Richardson, Texas.
13. What is one cultural practice the author embraces in the article?(5 points) Responses A) Cooking traditional Bengali dishes A) Cooking traditional Bengali dishes B) Dancing at school events B) Dancing at school events C) Singing American pop songs C) Singing American pop songs D) Painting landscapes
One cultural practice the author embraces in the article is A) Cooking traditional Bengali dishes. While the author does mention several aspects of her Bengali culture, the practice of cooking traditional dishes is implied through her appreciation of her heritage, although it may not be explicitly mentioned in the provided text. If you need a specific practice mentioned, it would be B) Dancing at school events, as she expresses pride in her ability to dance, which is a significant cultural practice in Bengali culture. Please confirm which option you intended to refer to.
14. How does the author describe the influence of her parents on her cultural identity?(5 points) Responses A) They encouraged her to abandon Bengali traditions. A) They encouraged her to abandon Bengali traditions. B) They immersed her in Bengali culture while allowing her to explore American culture. B) They immersed her in Bengali culture while allowing her to explore American culture. C) They forced her to reject American values. C) They forced her to reject American values. D) They had no influence on her cultural identity.
The author describes the influence of her parents on her cultural identity as B) They immersed her in Bengali culture while allowing her to explore American culture. This reflects her experience of growing up with the values and traditions of her Bengali heritage while also adapting to and engaging with the American culture around her.
15. What challenges does the author face when trying to balance her Bengali heritage with her American upbringing?(5 points) Responses A) She struggles with language barriers. A) She struggles with language barriers. B) She feels torn between the expectations of her family and her desire to fit in with her peers. B) She feels torn between the expectations of her family and her desire to fit in with her peers. C) She experiences financial difficulties. C) She experiences financial difficulties. D) She finds it difficult to choose between different career paths.
The challenges the author faces when trying to balance her Bengali heritage with her American upbringing can be best described as B) She feels torn between the expectations of her family and her desire to fit in with her peers. This reflects her struggle to navigate the cultural differences and societal pressures from both sides, leading to feelings of confusion and conflict in her identity.
1 answer