can you change this up a bit

Question

Dear Hiring Manager,
I recently came across your job posting for a summer custodian on the Internet and I am writing to express my interest in the position. I firmly believe that I would be a valuable asset to your team due to my genuine passion for amusement parks, the availability of my time during the summer months, and my friendly and energetic demeanor. Although the job may appear straightforward, I am confident in my ability to excel in this role. Moreover, I am eager to earn money towards the goal of saving up for a new game system. I have attached my resume for your review and consideration.

Thank you for considering my application. I eagerly await your response regarding the commencement of work.

Sincerely,
Kurt Gardener

Answer 1

Dear [Hiring Manager's Name],

I was thrilled to come across your Internet posting for a summer custodian position and wanted to express my keen interest in this opportunity. As a fervent enthusiast of amusement parks, I wholeheartedly believe that I would bring immense value to your team. With my availability during the summer months and my friendly, energetic demeanor, I am confident in my ability to excel in this role. Additionally, I am motivated to earn money towards my goal of saving up for a new game system. I have attached my resume for your careful review and consideration.

Thank you for taking the time to consider my application. I eagerly anticipate hearing from you regarding the next steps.

Warm regards,
Kurt Gardener