Broad Subject-Phonebook Character

Question

Limited Topic for Thesis Statement- Oliver Tolivr
Main Idea- Wealthy Buisness Man

Three Step Format
#2 Appearance-Sloppily dressed
#3 Surroundings-State of the art mansion
#4 Actions-Penny pinching ways

Thesis Statement:
The sloppily dressed, wealthy buisnessman, Oliver Toliver had the state of the art mansion,but because of his penny piching ways you would never have known it.


What is wrong with penny pinching ways?

Answer 1

All Sra was telling you was to put a hyphen between the two words ~~> penny-pinching

You also need hyphens for this phrase if you want to use it as an adjective ~~> state-of-the-art

You can read about compound words here:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/compounds.htm

Also, you need a comma after "Toliver" in your thesis statement and a space after the comma after "mansion" -- Also, can you rephrase the thesis so that the word "you" doesn't show up?

Answer 2

Can I put? because of his penny-pinching ways no one would ever know it.

I know I need to change the you to 3rd person. Will this work?

Answer 3

Yes, "no one" would work. So would "no one else" or "others."

You'll also need a comma after "ways" in that sentence.

Answer 4

Yes, that works fine ... just remember to get that comma in there after "ways" --

... because of his penny-pinching ways, no one would ever know it.