I think your first sentence is erroneous. There are many acts of courage every day. Perhaps not as "dramatic" as 9/11, but just as courageous. You are correct in saying that the person my face, admit the fear but determine to overcome it. This is not just an mental task but also an emotional task.
With that exception, your essay is well put together and there are not too many grammatical errors. I would probably give this one a 5.
Assignment: Does having courage mean that we have no fear, or that we act despite being afraid? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on these issues. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience or observation.
Courage is a noble characteristic not present in many. Acts of courage are never blind, they are done with the full knowledge of the consequences of failure.I believe that acts of courage are committed by disregarding danger and fear. This can be seen through the acts of the firefighters and of the passengers on Flight 93 on September 11, 2001.
When the Twin Towers were hit on September 11, 2001, mass hysteria erupted all across New York City. As thousands of people fled the burning towers, hundreds of firefighters conquered their fears and rushed in. They knew that it was their duty to save as many lives as possible and battle the raging flames. They mustered up as much courage as they could in face of their fears. As the entire city started to flee the island altogether, the firefighters were the ones left to battle the fire and prevent significant human loss. Thousands of people perished including hundreds of firefighters who couldn't escape the flames in time. But thousands of lives were also saved by the valiant efforts of the New York city firefighters.
On the same day, Flight 93 was hijacked by terrorists as it left Newark Airport in New Jersey. Terrorists intended to use the plane to rash into a third target aside from the Pentagon and the World Trade Center. They were never given the chance. The passengers of the plan rebelled against the terrorists forcing them to crash the plan before any other catastrophe could occur.The passengers were well aware of the dangers their act included, but they summoned the courage to prevent a disaster to occur at the hands of the terrorists.
The courage that we show in the time of a crisis must always overcome the fear that precedes it. Both feelings are always inside you, but which one takes control is all up to your mental determination. Once that mental will is present, fears take a backseat and success is possible.
4 answers
Thank you!
What else should be in my essay to get the 6? Once I know exactly what I lack, I'll watch out for those errors when I write more essays.
What else should be in my essay to get the 6? Once I know exactly what I lack, I'll watch out for those errors when I write more essays.
I would give this one a six. You answered the question. In the conclusion, you could have said that fear is normal, and it is courage that faces it.
You have a tendency to write in overlong, convoluted sentences. If you keep your thoughts to the point, you are less likely to make these kinds of errors.
Grammatical errors:
They mustered up as much courage as they could in face of their fears.
Terrorists intended to use the plane to rash into a third target aside from the Pentagon and the World Trade Center.
The passengers of the plan rebelled against the terrorists forcing them to crash the plan before any other catastrophe could occur
The passengers were well aware of the dangers their act included, but they summoned the courage to prevent a disaster to occur at the hands of the terrorists.
Grammatical errors:
They mustered up as much courage as they could in face of their fears.
Terrorists intended to use the plane to rash into a third target aside from the Pentagon and the World Trade Center.
The passengers of the plan rebelled against the terrorists forcing them to crash the plan before any other catastrophe could occur
The passengers were well aware of the dangers their act included, but they summoned the courage to prevent a disaster to occur at the hands of the terrorists.