Moreover, although, (UNLESS THIS PARAGRAPH IS A CONTINUING DISCUSSION, DELETE THE TWO PREVIOUS WORDS.) the current rise of Baloch nationalism is not completely centered on ethnicity per se, (NEW SENTENCE, SEMICOLON OR CONJUNCTION NEED.) one cannot help to recognize the ethnic differences that are persistent among the Pakistani government("-AL" FOR ADJECTIVE.) structure. Today, the dominant military regime is affiliated with the ethnic Punjabi-Mojahir ethnic group alliance (Jaffrelot 52). Punjabis are a heterogeneous group comprising different tribes and communities. Punjabi-Mojahir, Urdu (UNCLEAR ON RELATION OF "URDU" TO THE OTHER ETHNIC GROUPS.) speaking ethnic groups resides in the province("-S" PLURAL) of Punjab and Sindhi. Punjab is the most populated province of Pakistan, with seventy-two point six million people (CAN USE 72,600,000.) (Jaffrelot 51). It is the most industrialized province containing the largest cities. (NEED TRANSITION LIKE "IN ADDITION," HERE.) Its harvest contributes to sixty eight percent ("68%" WOULD MAKE THE STATISTIC STAND OUT MORE.) of the annual food production in Pakistan. It is also the ("A"? "THE" SUGGESTS THAT IT IS THE ONLY ONE.) region with a glowing economy and educational development (Jaffrelot 51). The region currently holds fifty three percent ("53%"? SAME HERE.) literacy rates, the highest in the country (Jaffrelot 51).
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Moreover, although, the current rise of Baloch nationalism is not completely centered on ethnicity per se, one cannot help to recognize the ethnic differences that are persistent among the Pakistani government structure. Today, the dominant military regime is affiliated with the ethnic Punjabi-Mojahir ethnic group alliance (Jaffrelot 52). Punjabis are a heterogeneous group comprising different tribes and communities. Punjabi-Mojahir, Urdu speaking ethnic groups resides in the province of Punjab and Sindhi. Punjab is the most populated province of Pakistan, with seventy-two point six million people (Jaffrelot 51). It is the most industrialized province containing the largest cities. Its harvest contributes to sixty eight percent of the annual food production in Pakistan. It is also the region with a glowing economy and educational development (Jaffrelot 51). The region currently holds fifty three percent literacy rates, the highest in the country (Jaffrelot 51).
2 answers
Moreover, although (omit comma) the current rise of Baloch nationalism is not completely centered on ethnicity per se, one cannot help but recognize the ethnic differences that are persistent among the Pakistani government structure.
The rest of the paragraph has nothing to do with this topic sentence. The rest of the paragraph is about the structure of the Punjab region...not govt. structure.
The rest of the paragraph has nothing to do with this topic sentence. The rest of the paragraph is about the structure of the Punjab region...not govt. structure.
2 answers