I see no improvements here. There are still many, many run-ons/comma splices (http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/runons.htm ) and many verb errors, which I pointed out before.
Examples:
A nurse was working in ER, during her shift, she see a patient who is having a fever of 101 degree F.
Should be this:
A nurse was working in the ER. During her shift, she saw a patient who had a fever of 101 degrees F.
Make corrections, revise, and repost.
PROOF READING
A nurse was working in ER, during her shift, she see a patient who is having a fever of 101 degree F. The patient also has a open wound on his left leg, the wound is red, painful, swollen, and foul-smelling pus is showing signs of infection. The patient ‘s pain level was 7 that is severe. While she was assessing the patient, a CNA informed her that one of her shift patient, who was receiving oxygen, is having difficulty breathing. ER RN immediately go to patient ‘s room and assess where is the problem. The patient accidently removed his oxygen mask while he was sleeping. Nurse immediacy fixes the oxygen mask and stay with patient until SaO2 remain stable at 96-98%.
Nurse make this decision based on knowledge that airways is always the highest priority and she attend the client who was experiencing the airway problem first because she used Maslow’s Hierarchy of need theory. According to Maslow’s theory, breathing, food, water comes first than any other human body need. Apparently patient with fever and infection need help too but Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a based on the theory that one level of needs must be met before moving on to the next step.
6 answers
i try to correct , but if my english would so better , why would i post for proofreading .
A nurse was working in ER. During her shift, she saw a patient who is having a fever of 101 degree F. The patient has a open wound on his left leg. The wound is red, painful, swollen, and foul-smelling pus is showing signs of infection. The patient ‘s pain level was 7 which was severe. While she was assessing the patient, a CNA informed her that one of her shift patient, who was receiving oxygen, is having difficulty breathing. ER RN immediately went to patient ‘s room and assess where is the problem. The patient accidently removed his oxygen mask while he was sleeping. Nurse immediately fixes the oxygen mask and stay with thepatient until SaO2 remain stable at 96-98%.
Nurse make this decision based on knowledge that airways is always the highest priority and she attend the client who was experiencing the airway problem first because she used Maslow’s Hierarchy of need theory. According to Maslow’s theory, breathing, food, water comes first than any other human body need. Apparently patient with fever and infection need help too but Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a based on the theory that one level of needs must be met before moving on to the next step.
A nurse was working in ER. During her shift, she saw a patient who is having a fever of 101 degree F. The patient has a open wound on his left leg. The wound is red, painful, swollen, and foul-smelling pus is showing signs of infection. The patient ‘s pain level was 7 which was severe. While she was assessing the patient, a CNA informed her that one of her shift patient, who was receiving oxygen, is having difficulty breathing. ER RN immediately went to patient ‘s room and assess where is the problem. The patient accidently removed his oxygen mask while he was sleeping. Nurse immediately fixes the oxygen mask and stay with thepatient until SaO2 remain stable at 96-98%.
Nurse make this decision based on knowledge that airways is always the highest priority and she attend the client who was experiencing the airway problem first because she used Maslow’s Hierarchy of need theory. According to Maslow’s theory, breathing, food, water comes first than any other human body need. Apparently patient with fever and infection need help too but Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a based on the theory that one level of needs must be met before moving on to the next step.
Just by addressing comma splices and being aware of verbs, this is better! You should be proud of yourself ... English is NOT an easy language to learn, I know!
It's not perfect, but it's better. I'll post the whole corrected version in a few minutes. Once it's posted, be sure to study the changes I make and ask questions about any corrections you don't understand, OK?
It's not perfect, but it's better. I'll post the whole corrected version in a few minutes. Once it's posted, be sure to study the changes I make and ask questions about any corrections you don't understand, OK?
Compare your second post very carefully with the following:
A nurse was working in ER. During her shift, she saw a patient who had a fever of 101 degrees F. The patient had an open wound on his left leg. The wound was red, painful, swollen, and foul-smelling. Pus is a sign of infection. The patient’s pain level was 7, which is considered severe. While she was assessing the patient, a CNA informed her that one of her shift patients, who was receiving oxygen, was having difficulty breathing. The ER nurse immediately went to that patient‘s room and assessed the problem. The patient had accidently removed his oxygen mask while he was sleeping. The nurse immediately fixed the oxygen mask and stayed with the patient until his SaO2 remained stable at 96-98%.
The nurse made this decision based on knowledge that airways are always the highest priority. She attended to the client who was experiencing the airway problem first because she used Maslow’s Hierarchy of need theory. According to Maslow’s theory, breathing, food, and water come before any other human body needs. Apparently, the patient with fever and infection needs help, too, but Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a based on the theory that one level of needs must be met before moving on to the next step.
A nurse was working in ER. During her shift, she saw a patient who had a fever of 101 degrees F. The patient had an open wound on his left leg. The wound was red, painful, swollen, and foul-smelling. Pus is a sign of infection. The patient’s pain level was 7, which is considered severe. While she was assessing the patient, a CNA informed her that one of her shift patients, who was receiving oxygen, was having difficulty breathing. The ER nurse immediately went to that patient‘s room and assessed the problem. The patient had accidently removed his oxygen mask while he was sleeping. The nurse immediately fixed the oxygen mask and stayed with the patient until his SaO2 remained stable at 96-98%.
The nurse made this decision based on knowledge that airways are always the highest priority. She attended to the client who was experiencing the airway problem first because she used Maslow’s Hierarchy of need theory. According to Maslow’s theory, breathing, food, and water come before any other human body needs. Apparently, the patient with fever and infection needs help, too, but Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a based on the theory that one level of needs must be met before moving on to the next step.
Thank you
You're welcome. Keep working on verbs, complete sentences, singulars and plurals, and articles.
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2 answers