Question

any ideas to improve this poem? its a first draft so not very good.


My life line,

Is speeding down a roller coaster track,
Loops and turns,
Gliding over the city,
Not a worry in the world.

It takes me away from this small town.
Where it is either extremely hot,
Or frostbite cold.
So many restrictions,
Always being told what to do.
We do the same thing every day,
Never something different.

It takes me to a big city,
New place and new people.
Always a surprise.
Everybody is accepted there,
Everybody is different.
You never second guess,
Never regret,
And always live life to the fullest.

Answer 1

I'm not a good poet, but I really like your poem. :-)

Answer 2

Does anybody have any more things that i could change or improve on??? Thanks so much Ms. Sue!!

Answer 3

You're very welcome. The only thing I've thought of is to pick up the roller coaster metaphor at the end of the poem.