When attachment capacity develops normally, the child gets pleasure from interacting with other people. The degree of pleasure is related to the degree of attachment-pleasing a parent brings more pleasure than pleasing a stranger. It is this very property that helps parents and teachers shape pro-social and social behaviors in a child. In the process of teaching children emotional, social, and cognitive tasks, the strongest rewards for a child are the attention, approval, and recognition of success that the parent or teacher can give. Conversely, when a child feels he have displeased a parent or teacher, he can be devastated.
Is this correct???
what does research show about the child's relationship with the primary parental figure when the child has additional attachments to other people?
2 answers
However, I have to take issue with the last statement.
If the displeasure is aimed at the behavior rather than the child, devastation is unlikely to occur, given previous positive attachments.
For example, when a child does some disapproved behavior, rather than saying, "You're a bad boy/girl," it is better to indicate that the behavior is wrong, "____ is not the right thing to do," and propose a better alternative.
If this occurs, the child might be upset for a while, but I would not say, "devastated." If displeasing a parent involves rejection of the child rather than the behavior, that can lead to devastation.
I hope this helps.
If the displeasure is aimed at the behavior rather than the child, devastation is unlikely to occur, given previous positive attachments.
For example, when a child does some disapproved behavior, rather than saying, "You're a bad boy/girl," it is better to indicate that the behavior is wrong, "____ is not the right thing to do," and propose a better alternative.
If this occurs, the child might be upset for a while, but I would not say, "devastated." If displeasing a parent involves rejection of the child rather than the behavior, that can lead to devastation.
I hope this helps.
1 answer