Asked by westwood

is this a good thesis statement for public vs private school.

Parents have an obligation to give their children the best education.
Answered by Writeacher
That's not a thesis statement. It simply states a fact.

Your thesis statement must include <u> factual information</u> (which you already have) <b>plus your position/opinion/stance. Without your position on the topic, it isn't a true thesis statement. </b>So think of this sentence as the angle you want to take on the topic and what you intend to prove by the end of your paper. (If your statement is simply factual, then there's nothing to prove!)

http://blog.eduify.com/index.php/2009/06/21/5-tips-on-how-to-write-a-strong-thesis-statement/
Read carefully and follow ALL directions.

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
This is one of the very best places I've seen online to help students write good thesis statements. It shows you sentences that aren't thesis statements and how to turn each one into real thesis statements.
Answered by westwood
would you be able to assist me with creating one? I understand the 5 points of making one. I think it is just the wording I have trouble with because a thesis shouldn't be long.
Answered by Writeacher
What main point do you want to make about public and private schools?
Answered by westwood
private schools are more expensive. public schools have more interactions with other schools.
private schools have monthly fees.
Answered by Writeacher
Those are facts. What are YOUR THOUGHTS? YOUR OPINION?

Go back and re-read and study all five points made in the Eduify blog post.
Answered by westwood
I think public teaches the children more.

I think there are more opportunities for for public school children.

Kids at private school are more sheltered.

public school children are more outgoing.
Answered by bobpursley
http://writefix.com/?page_id=1889

You are almost there.
Answered by Writeacher
OK, good. That's a good start. You have your topic, and now you need to focus on what YOU THINK about that topic.

Of those opinions you stated, <b>which ONE (or combine two into one, if you wish) is what you want to focus on in your paper.</b> Remember, make sure it's "contestable." That is, make sure it's an idea others will disagree about! It's that angle on the subject that you want to pursue in your paper.
Answered by westwood
more opportunities for public children and more outgoing
Answered by westwood
is this on the right track

Sending your children to public school they will have more opportunities and be more outgoing in their lives.
Answered by Writeacher
Oh, come on! That's not even a complete sentence!!

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
Check especially the 2nd and 3rd sections here.
Answered by Writeacher
<i>Sending your children to public school they will have more opportunities and be more outgoing in their lives.</i>

OK, this is much better. How can you rephrase, though, so there is no "you" in there?
Answered by westwood
Sending children to public school will give them more opportunities and be more outgoing in their lives.
Answered by Writeacher
Almost!

... more ... than what?
Answered by westwood
Sending children to public school will give them endless education opportunities and be more outgoing in their lives.
Answered by Writeacher
more than what?
Answered by westwood
Sending children to public school will give them endless education opportunities and be ambigous in their job options.
Answered by Writeacher
Just stop the sentence after "opportunities." Then it'll be fine. The rest is awkward and doesn't fit.
Answered by Writeacher
Also, use "educational" before "opportunities."
Answered by westwood
ok thanks for the help. I thought I was good at putting a paper together. but I guess I need work.
Answered by Writeacher
You're welcome.
=)

Everything gets more complicated as you get older. You have to get better and better ... you cannot stand still! That's just the way it is!!
Answered by westwood
i see. Thanks again
Answered by drwls
I do not believe that the original thesis statement is a fact. The parents' perception of "the best education" may be wrong, or unaffordable, or not worth the much higher expense. They should play an active and informed role in PTSA, and take school quality under consideration when they decide where to live.

You seem to be converging on a good thesis statement and argument;
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