Question

can anyone please let me know my grammatical mistakes in this paragraph:-

Presently, I am pursuing diploma in medical administrative assistant from Penn Foster. Since last month I have been looking for job in administration department in a hospital, so I applied for medical administrative assistant position available at your Kaiser location in Tracy, CA. Healthcare industry has always been my goal to start as my career. I got inspired to choose this position because of some personnel experience. My dad was suffering from cancer and was admitted in hospital for one year and during this time I use to visit him daily to the hospital and I have seen how well the doctors, nurses and medical assistant had taken care of him and the administration department was also very cooperative to me. After getting such a nice treatment and care from whole medical department, I decided to make career in healthcare industry and I selected medical administrative assistant as my field. I also have 2 years of working experience as volunteer medical administrative assistant from where, I gained skills in office management, such as, data entry, reception for both walk-ins and phone inquiries, scheduling appointments, ordering supplies and other general office duties, and apart from all this I am also proficient in computers, excellent typing and multi-tasking skills. Therefore, I fell with my qualification, experience and skills this position suits best for me. I am confident that I could make a valuable contribution to the medical team by serving patients and company in a timely manner.

Answer 1

pursuing diploma = pursuing A diploma for
an

OR pursuing a diploma in order to be, etc.

a job in an administration department

applied for a medical, etc.

The healthcare industry

personal vs personnel (people)

I used to visit him daily in the hospital

from the whole medical department

to make my career

as a vo lunteer, etc.

I felt OR feel with my qualifications

position suits me best.

and your company

May I suggest, if you have time, to make all the corrections and repost for final proofreading.

Sra