The first is not a complete sentence. Get rid of "That" -- there is one comma needed -- there is one apostrophe needed -- "as" should be "like" since it's not followed by a clause.
Content is fine.
Hi
Okay, hypothesis time XD.
That Akhenaten challenged the religous system of New Kingdom Egypt and the role of a typical New Kingdom pharoah. Furthermore he did not create any lasting reforms, was detrimental to Egypts development and did not act as a typical New Kingdom pharoah.
Is this good?
1 answer