You need to begin with the mechanics: spelling, punctuation, etc. This is so long that I will have to print it out. My eyes do not skim up and down, u and down.
I 'll be back when I've had time to do it.
Sra
can some one tell me where my mistakes are in this essay please need my tomorrow night. (here is my paper)
THE BEGANING TO MY BEGANING
I decided to return to school about two years ago my reasoning for returning back to school was I seen how many of my friends and family members were effected by not having an education.
I told myself I did not want to end up with struggles, having to work at low end jobs, worrying how I would pay my bills or support my family; those are scary thing to have to think about on a daily bases, I know regardless I will have to go through things like that but I just don’t want to have to worry as much.
When I first started I had so many emotions running through my body I did not know how to feel, I was scared, nerves, happy and so many more but I knew it was going to be the best thing I have ever done. I know when I finish my degree I will have a career and that is one of the things that motivates me, I plan to push myself to be strong and motivated and not to give up my dreams like most of the other woman in my family did.
I never believed returning to school could be something I had in my life plan, before I decided to return to school I had a drug problem that I needed to over come, my life was surrounded with the wrong people and bad choices it took me almost five years to realize that I was headed down the wrong path, until one day my cousin told me “this is not the holly I know you can do so much with your life I am giving you the chance to change it now”. That day I packed my things and went with him with out a fight it changed my life forever; I have been drug free for 5 years and four months I am very thankful for him opening my eyes. Since then I have done nothing but made positive choices in my life, and that’s how I made the decision to return to school.
I knew when I planed to return to school I would have to change something’s in my life to be able to pursue my goals, I just kept telling myself it would all be worth it at the end and that was ok with me. I know since I have started school there have been many changes in my life some for the good and some for the bad. I have recently had to take care of my ill father and that is a twenty four hour job, I worry that I won’t have time to do my work, I don’t care how late it is before I get to it as long as I get it done, I push myself to make sure school is a must. Know matter how much I have done that day or how tired I may be I always make sure my work is done. My life is full of challenges on a daily bases; my family always tells me I am pushing myself to hard, I believe If I don’t push myself how will I every complete any of the goals I set for myself?
I have a pretty big family; I have two sisters, two brothers, four nieces, and four nephews three of them are in school, I believe they look up to me they always say “NEWNEW you still have a lot of home work to do is it hard” I always respond “it is as hard as I make it” I make sure they know they can do any thing that they put their minds to nothing is impossible as long as you try. My one niece is an A-B student and I believe she tries so hard because she sees how hard I work. I believe I broke the chain I think I may have started something great in my family I believe I will not be the last women in my family to have a great education. I think that their will be many great success stories for years to come.
I plan to one day have a family of my own that can look up to me and see how hard I worked to become who I am today. I want my children to be able to say “MOM can you help me with my homework” and I will be able to say “yes”, I know when I was younger my mother and father did not have a great education so they was never able to help me when I asked, just me having to experience that I would never want my own children to have to go through those struggles. So that is another big part of my motivation. I want my children to be goal oriented; I want them to be able to look at me as a role model someone they can be proud of.
I plan to jump over any obstacle in my way to successfully complete my degree I have seen so many of my friends and family member let something so simple get in the way of their dreams. I would always hear the woman in my family say I will get back to school when my kids have left the nest and never see them return I don’t want to be just another statistic. I want to be able to say I made it even though there were so many things and people saying I never would finish, {LOOK AT ME NOW} I did it. I will over come these obstacles by just telling myself I can do this no matter how hard it get or how many people tell me I cant.
I know that I am strong and I have the will power to do this, I will keep tell myself that ever day. I hope to have the support of my family and friends, I have dreams that I know I can reach as long as I starch my arms as far as they will go. I BELIEVE THE SKY IS THE LIMIT. No one can know the potential, of a life that is committed to win; with courage - the challenge it faces, to achieve great success in the end! We must have vision to see our potential, and faith to believe that we can; then courage to act with conviction, to become what GOD meant us to be! So, possess the strength and the courage, to conquer whatever you choose; it’s the person who never gets started,
that is destined forever to lose!
3 answers
The Beginning To My Beginning (note spelling)
years ago my reasoning (run-on sentence) = years ago. My reasong.....
I seen (bad grammar) = I saw
low end (could use hyphen as it's used as an adjective = low-end job
those are scary thing (those are = plural bu scary thing = singular) = those are scary things
bases, I know (2 errors = spelling and punctuation to avoid the run-on sentence) = basis. I know (OR substitute ; for . as you did earlier.)
first started I had so (often a comma after a dependent phrase allows you to take a breath so you can read the rest of it) = first, started...
nerves,(part of speech; you need an adjective, not a noun) = nervous
and so many more (where is the antecedent = more what?)...
life plan, before I (run-on sentence) = lie plan. Before...
choices it took (run-on sentence) = choices. It took...
told me “this (punctuation) = told me, "Thie...)
holly I know you (2 punctuation errors) = Holly I know. You
it now”. (depends upon American English = it now." OR British English = it now".
with out a fight it changed (spelling and run-on sentence) = without a fight. It changed...
four months I am (run-on sentence) = four months. I am (and congratulations to you!)
for him opening (you need an adjective to modify opening, a gerund used as a noun here) = his opening
done nothing but made (word order could be better = made nothing but...
(It's getting a bit long, so let me to a Part II.)
Sra
years ago my reasoning (run-on sentence) = years ago. My reasong.....
I seen (bad grammar) = I saw
low end (could use hyphen as it's used as an adjective = low-end job
those are scary thing (those are = plural bu scary thing = singular) = those are scary things
bases, I know (2 errors = spelling and punctuation to avoid the run-on sentence) = basis. I know (OR substitute ; for . as you did earlier.)
first started I had so (often a comma after a dependent phrase allows you to take a breath so you can read the rest of it) = first, started...
nerves,(part of speech; you need an adjective, not a noun) = nervous
and so many more (where is the antecedent = more what?)...
life plan, before I (run-on sentence) = lie plan. Before...
choices it took (run-on sentence) = choices. It took...
told me “this (punctuation) = told me, "Thie...)
holly I know you (2 punctuation errors) = Holly I know. You
it now”. (depends upon American English = it now." OR British English = it now".
with out a fight it changed (spelling and run-on sentence) = without a fight. It changed...
four months I am (run-on sentence) = four months. I am (and congratulations to you!)
for him opening (you need an adjective to modify opening, a gerund used as a noun here) = his opening
done nothing but made (word order could be better = made nothing but...
(It's getting a bit long, so let me to a Part II.)
Sra
Part II:
that was "let me do a Part II = MY error! Sorry.
nephews three of (run-on sentence) = newphews; OR . Three, etc.
up to me they always (by now you probably see that the most repeated error is a run-on sentence) = up to me. They always...
always say “NEWNEW (punctuation before a quote) = say, "NEWNEW,.... (then a comma for direct address)
of home work (one word) = homework
to do is it hard” I always respond “it is as hard as I make it” (I lumped them together) = to do. Is it hard?" I always respond, "It is as hard as I make it."
do any thing (spelling) = anything
minds to nothing is (Can you spot a run-on sentence now?) = minds to it. Nothing is...
the chain I think (guess what?) the chain. I think...
family I believe (another one) = family. I believe...
last women (singular vs plural) = "last woman" or "the last of the women"
their will be (wrong part of speech) = there will be
to be able to say “MOM can you help me with my homework” and I will be able to say “yes”, I know when I was younger my mother and father did not have a great education so they was never able to help me when I asked, (I lumped all that together too.) = to say, "MOM, can you help me with my homework?" and I will be able to say, "Yes." I know that when I was younger my mother and father did not have a great education, so they were (plural) never able to help me when I asked.
just me having to experience that I would (I rewrote it a bit.) = I was alone having to experience struggles that I would never want my children to go through.
a role model someone = a role model and someone...
degree I have seen = degree. I have seen
family member (singular vs plural) = family members...
the woman in my family (singular vs plural) = the women in my family
return I don’t (first of all, did you want to QUOTE the women? Then you need more punctuation. Also the run-on sentence needs to be corrected) = return. I don't...
I made it even though t (a comma is nice to allow you to take a breath) = I made it, even though
After a period or exclamation point within the parentheses, over come (one word) = overcme
do this no matter how hard it get or how many people tell me I cant. (look carefully for punctuation - a comma and an apostrophe plus the verb) = do this, no matter how hard it gets or how many people tell me I can't.
to do this, I will keep tell myself that ever day. (3 errors here) = to do this. I will keep telling myself that every day.
friends, I have dreams (run-on sentence) = friends; OR . I have...
I starch my arms (looka likE vocabulary error) = I stretch my arms
potential, of a life (remove comma) = potential of a life
with courage - the challenge it faces, to achieve great success in the end! (I'm a bit lost here.) = It faces the challenge with courage, to achieve, etc.
can; then (just listing things = comma) = can, then
Monumental job! Feel free to rewrite everything with all the corrections made for a final proofreading, if you'd like!
Sra
that was "let me do a Part II = MY error! Sorry.
nephews three of (run-on sentence) = newphews; OR . Three, etc.
up to me they always (by now you probably see that the most repeated error is a run-on sentence) = up to me. They always...
always say “NEWNEW (punctuation before a quote) = say, "NEWNEW,.... (then a comma for direct address)
of home work (one word) = homework
to do is it hard” I always respond “it is as hard as I make it” (I lumped them together) = to do. Is it hard?" I always respond, "It is as hard as I make it."
do any thing (spelling) = anything
minds to nothing is (Can you spot a run-on sentence now?) = minds to it. Nothing is...
the chain I think (guess what?) the chain. I think...
family I believe (another one) = family. I believe...
last women (singular vs plural) = "last woman" or "the last of the women"
their will be (wrong part of speech) = there will be
to be able to say “MOM can you help me with my homework” and I will be able to say “yes”, I know when I was younger my mother and father did not have a great education so they was never able to help me when I asked, (I lumped all that together too.) = to say, "MOM, can you help me with my homework?" and I will be able to say, "Yes." I know that when I was younger my mother and father did not have a great education, so they were (plural) never able to help me when I asked.
just me having to experience that I would (I rewrote it a bit.) = I was alone having to experience struggles that I would never want my children to go through.
a role model someone = a role model and someone...
degree I have seen = degree. I have seen
family member (singular vs plural) = family members...
the woman in my family (singular vs plural) = the women in my family
return I don’t (first of all, did you want to QUOTE the women? Then you need more punctuation. Also the run-on sentence needs to be corrected) = return. I don't...
I made it even though t (a comma is nice to allow you to take a breath) = I made it, even though
After a period or exclamation point within the parentheses, over come (one word) = overcme
do this no matter how hard it get or how many people tell me I cant. (look carefully for punctuation - a comma and an apostrophe plus the verb) = do this, no matter how hard it gets or how many people tell me I can't.
to do this, I will keep tell myself that ever day. (3 errors here) = to do this. I will keep telling myself that every day.
friends, I have dreams (run-on sentence) = friends; OR . I have...
I starch my arms (looka likE vocabulary error) = I stretch my arms
potential, of a life (remove comma) = potential of a life
with courage - the challenge it faces, to achieve great success in the end! (I'm a bit lost here.) = It faces the challenge with courage, to achieve, etc.
can; then (just listing things = comma) = can, then
Monumental job! Feel free to rewrite everything with all the corrections made for a final proofreading, if you'd like!
Sra
1 answer