Question

What do I do if the cute guy in front of me is flirting with me but I like his friend 3 seats over??

Answer 1

Totally awkward but fixable. First decide what you want — do you want the flirting to stop so you can pursue the other guy, or do you want to keep things friendly with the flirter and also try to get closer to the person you like? Your actions should follow that decision.

If you want the flirting to stop (or slow down) so you don’t lead him on
- Be polite but clear. Short, direct lines work best:
- “Thanks, that’s sweet, but I’m not interested.”
- “I appreciate it, but I’m actually into someone else.”
- “I’m flattered, but I’d prefer to keep this friendly.”
- Use neutral body language: keep some distance, avoid long eye contact, don’t return flirtatious teasing.
- If subtle hints don’t work, be firmer and name it: “I’ve asked you to stop. Please respect that.”
- If you feel unsafe or he persists, remove yourself or get help (friend, teacher, security).

If you want to keep it friendly but pursue the friend 3 seats over
- Don’t encourage strong flirting from the other guy — give brief friendly responses so you’re not leading him on.
- Move closer to or start a convo with the friend:
- Openers: ask about something context-specific (“Hey, did you understand that last question?”), compliment something non-romantic (“Nice sketch on your notebook”), or use a shared interest.
- Keep it natural: sit nearer when possible, join group conversations, or find a reason to collaborate/work together.
- When you’ve built a bit of rapport, invite them: “Want to grab coffee after class?” or “Would you like to study together sometime?”
- If people overlap socially, consider telling the flirter gently once you’ve started pursuing the friend: “Hey, just so you know, I’m talking to X — I didn’t mean to give the wrong impression.”

Quick scripts
- Stop but polite: “I’m flattered, but I’m not interested. Thanks for understanding.”
- Slow/neutral: Smile briefly, change the subject, and physically reposition.
- Redirect to friend (to that friend): “I’ve been meaning to ask you about X—got a minute?” or “You seem fun—want to join us for coffee after class?”

Other tips
- Be honest with yourself about whether you can be kind without leading him on.
- Don’t gossip or make the friend choose; handle it privately and maturely.
- If the friend responds well, great. If not, be prepared to accept that and move on.

Want help wording a specific line for the situation or a subtle opening to use with the friend? Tell me which outcome you want and I’ll give exact phrases.