Here are the grammatical errors and recommended changes from your essay:
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Sentence 1:
- "Did you know students could do better if they had outdoor recess?"
- Change: "Did you know that students could do better if they had outdoor recess?"
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Sentence 2:
- "My claim is that outdoor recess shouldn’t be discontinued as students move up to higher grades."
- No changes needed. (This sentence is grammatically correct.)
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Sentence 3:
- "Recess can help improve a student’s physical and mental health, by allowing them to exercise."
- Change: "Recess can help improve a student’s physical and mental health by allowing them to exercise." (Remove the comma after "health.")
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Sentence 4:
- "Recess also helps with schoolwork, like PE."
- Change: "Recess also helps with schoolwork, such as PE." (Change "like" to "such as" for clarity.)
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Sentence 5:
- "Recess is important for movement and removing it can be bad."
- Change: "Recess is important for movement, and removing it can be bad." (Add a comma before "and.")
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Paragraph 2, Sentence 1:
- "Recess and improve a student’s physical health by allowing them to exercise."
- Change: "Recess can improve a student’s physical health by allowing them to exercise." (Add "can" at the beginning of the sentence.)
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Sentence 2:
- "This is because activities like running can help with bone health."
- No changes needed. (This sentence is grammatically correct.)
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Sentence 3:
- "Recess also helps provide vitamin D from sun exposure."
- No changes needed. (This sentence is grammatically correct.)
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Sentence 4:
- "It helps a student’s mental because it can help reduce stress which prevents mental health issues."
- Change: "It helps a student’s mental health because it can help reduce stress, which prevents mental health issues." (Add "health" after "mental" and a comma before "which.")
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Sentence 5:
- "High stress level in young students could lead to depression when they are older."
- Change: "High stress levels in young students could lead to depression when they are older." (Change "level" to "levels.")
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Paragraph 3, Sentence 1:
- "Schools will have courses like PE, where 30 minutes are required a day."
- Change: "Schools will have courses such as PE, where 30 minutes are required each day." (Change "like" to "such as" and "a day" to "each day.")
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Sentence 2:
- "Recess can help with PE since there are different activities to do."
- No changes needed. (This sentence is grammatically correct.)
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Sentence 3:
- "This is helpful since students won’t have to worry about doing exercise in their home without the added stress of needing to do homework."
- Change: "This is helpful since students won’t have to worry about doing exercise at home without the added stress of needing to do homework." (Change "in their home" to "at home.")
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Sentence 4:
- "This helps improve a student’s body too as they are doing exercise for a good amount of time."
- Change: "This helps improve a student’s body too, as they are doing exercise for a good amount of time." (Add a comma before "as.")
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Sentence 5:
- "Although people might complain that recess time would be better spent doing homework, even so, it is shown that time outside can help students work better."
- Change: "Although people might complain that recess time would be better spent doing homework, even so, it has been shown that time outside can help students work better." (Change "is shown" to "has been shown.")
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Paragraph 4, Sentence 1:
- "When students come back from school, the first the thing they do is sit down to do their homework."
- Change: "When students come back from school, the first thing they do is sit down to do their homework." (Remove "the" from "the first the thing.")
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Sentence 2:
- "Once they’re done, they most likely sit down to watch TV or to play video games."
- No changes needed. (This sentence is grammatically correct.)
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Sentence 3:
- "If recess was to be removed, students would be sitting down for the majority of the day."
- Change: "If recess were to be removed, students would be sitting down for the majority of the day." (Change "was" to "were.")
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Sentence 4:
- "During the time in which students go to and from school, recess is the only time students stand up and actually move."
- Change: "During the time in which students go to and from school, recess is the only time students can stand up and actually move." (Add "can" before "stand up.")
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Sentence 5:
- "Recess helps students get movement in the day which will prevent things like obesity."
- Change: "Recess helps students get movement in the day, which will prevent things like obesity." (Add a comma before "which.")
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Final Paragraph, Sentence 1:
- "Outdoor recess is a great thing that can benefit students of all ages in lots of ways."
- Change: "Outdoor recess is a great thing that can benefit students of all ages in many ways." (Consider "in many ways" instead of "in lots of ways" for formality.)
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Sentence 2:
- "It can help a student do more physical activity, while also helping mental health."
- Change: "It can help a student engage in more physical activity while also helping mental health." (Consider changing "do" to "engage in" for clarity.)
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Sentence 3:
- "It helps complete assignments by allowing students to work easier and complete schoolwork in the process."
- Change: "It helps students to complete assignments by allowing them to work more easily and complete schoolwork in the process." (Add "students to" for clarity and change "easier" to "more easily.")
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Final Sentence:
- "I hope this helped you think more about this topic and how important it is."
- Change: "I hope this has helped you think more about this topic and how important it is." (Change "helped" to "has helped.")
Overall, the essay presents a clear argument in favor of outdoor recess. The recommended changes are primarily for clarity and grammatical correctness.