I've lived in a small town my entire life. It's a close-knit community where everyone knows everyone. It's nice for the most part, but it can get a little boring. However, my dad got a new job recently that's making him relocate. Now the entire family has to move out of our small town and into a big city, hours away. Everything there is going to be so different.


large city view


So then I...

only considered the negatives of living in a big city versus a small town.

obsessed over what could go wrong.

focused on what was exciting instead of what was scary.

1 answer

It's completely natural to feel a mix of emotions about such a big change. Moving from a small town to a large city can be overwhelming, and it's normal to focus on the negatives or worry about what might go wrong. However, it can also be helpful to shift your perspective and think about the potential positives and exciting opportunities that come with living in a big city.

Here are some thoughts related to each of the options you considered:

  1. Only considered the negatives: It’s easy to slip into a mindset where you focus on what you’ll miss—familiar faces, quiet streets, and a slower pace of life. While it’s important to acknowledge your feelings, try to balance those thoughts by also thinking about what you might gain, such as new experiences, diverse cultures, and the chance to meet new people.

  2. Obsessed over what could go wrong: Worrying about the unknown—like feeling lonely, getting lost, or not fitting in—is a common reaction. Instead of allowing these worries to consume you, consider practical steps you can take to ease the transition. For example, research your new city ahead of time, explore social groups or communities that align with your interests, and think about how you can maintain connections with friends back home.

  3. Focused on what was exciting instead of what was scary: Embracing excitement about new adventures can be a great way to combat fear. Think about all the possibilities a large city offers: museums, restaurants, events, and activities you may never have experienced in your small town. Make a list of things you’re excited to explore and set small goals to learn about your new environment.

Ultimately, the key is to find a balance. Embrace the positives of your new life while recognizing and processing the challenges that come with change. It can help to talk about your feelings with someone you trust, whether that’s a family member, friend, or counselor. Change is often a little scary, but it can also lead to personal growth and new opportunities.

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