34.1 Revise the following sentences to eliminate unnecessary shifts in tense, mood, voice, or person and number and between direct and indirect discourse.

Question

1. The greed of the 1980s gave way to the occupational insecurity of the 1990s, which in turn gives way to reinforced family ties in the early 2000s.
a. Greed in the 1980s led to occupational insecurity in the 1990s, which reinforced family ties in the early 2000s.

2. The building inspector suggested that we apply for a construction permit and that we should check with his office again when the plans are complete.
a. The building inspector suggested that we apply for a construction permit and check back with his office again when the plans are complete.

3. The instructor grabbed her coat, wondered why was the substitute late, and ran out of the room.
a. The instructor grabbed her coat, while running out of the room wondered why the substitute late.

4. Suddenly, we heard an explosion of wings off to our right, and you could see a hundred or more ducks lifting off from the water.
a. Suddenly, we heard an explosion of wings off to our right; we could see hundreds of ducks lifting off from the water.

5. In my previous job, I sold the most advertising spot and was given a sales excellence award.
a. In my previous job, I sold the most advertising spot and was given a sales excellence award.

6. A cloud of snow powder rose as skies and poles fly in every direction.
a. A cloud of snow powder rose as skies and poles flew in every direction.

7. The flight attendant said, “Please turn off all electronic devices,” but that we could use them again after takeoff.
a. The flight attendant said, “Please turn off all electronic devices;” you may use them again after takeoff.

8. The real estate market was softer than it had been for a decade, and a buyer could practically name their price.
a. The real estate market is softer than it has been in decades; a buyer could practically name their price.

9. When in Florence, be sure to see the city’s famed cathedral, and many tourists also visit Michelangelo’s statue David.
a. When in Florence, be sure to visit the city’s famed cathedral and Michelangelo’s statue of David.

10. The freezing weather is threatening crops such as citrus fruits, which were sensitive to cold.
a. The freezing weather is threatening the citrus fruits, which are sensitive to the cold.

35.2 Revise the following sentences as necessary to eliminate any errors in parallel structure

1. I remember watching it the first time, realizing I’d never seen anything like it, and immediately vowed never to miss an episode of The Daily Show.
a. I remember watching it the first time and realizing I’d never seen anything like it. Immediately I vowed never to miss an episode of The Daily Show.

2. A crowd stood outside the school and were watching as the graduates paraded by.
a. A crowd stood outside the school and watched as the graduates paraded by.

3. An effective Web site is well designed, provides useful information, and links are given to other relevant sites.
a. An effective Web site is well designed, provides useful information, and had links to other relevant sites.

4. It is impossible to watch The Office and not seeing a little of yourself in one the characters.
a. It is impossible to watch The Office and not see a little of yourself in one the characters.

5. Lila was the winner not only of the pie-eating contest but also won the yodeling competition.
a. Lila was the winner of both the pie-eating and yodeling competition.

Can someone please check my work and let me know if I am getting anything wrong?

Answer 1

Sorry I forgot my answer to question 5.

5. In my previous job, I sold the most advertising spot and was given a sales excellence award.
a. In my previous job, I was given the sales of excellence award for selling the most advertising spots.

Answer 2

3.
a. The instructor grabbed her coat, while running out of the room wondered why the substitute late.
There's a word missing in here. Read it aloud, and you should figure it out!

5.
a. In my previous job, I was given the sales of excellence award for selling the most advertising spots.
"sales of excellence aware" -- doesn't make sense

In 6, I think you mean skis, not skies. There's a BIG difference!!

7. The flight attendant said, “Please turn off all electronic devices,” but that we could use them again after takeoff.
a. The flight attendant said, “Please turn off all electronic devices;” you may use them again after takeoff.
The quotation marks are off. How much of your correction is directly said by the flight attendant?

8. Incorrect. Study this page carefully, and then post your correction.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/pronouns.htm

All the rest in 34.1 are correct.

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http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/parallelism.htm
Study EVERYTHING in here and then try 1 and 3 again. 2 and 4 are correct. In 5, you need "competitions" since there are two contests referred to.