Question

Thank you very much for the help.
Can you check these two other paragraphs, please?


1) Once, last year, I was (too?) late for school and I had to run to catch the bus. But the day before it had snowed a lot and that morning the road was icy. (While I was running,) I fell over and I smashed my glasses. Unluckily, I had my new I-pod in my hands: when I fell over, it jumped over a bush in the snow (OR my new I-pod slipped out of my hand and landed in a bush covered with snow?).
2) A morning a young man, was driving his city car at top speed, because he was late for work when, maybe for a hole, maybe for a distraction, he lost control of the car and it came out (?) of the road (OR drove off the road) He was going to have a head-on crash with a big truck when, luckily, he took again control of the vehicle and avoided the collision. After a few metres, there was a police car waiting for him for a traffic offence. (He was booked for speeding). His words to the policemen: “I was proceeding slowly”.

Answer 1

Good story! In the sentence: my hands: when I fell = not a colon but a semicolon = my hands; when I fell

Either what you have or what is in parentheses about falling and the snowy bush

A morning = That morning...

maybe for a hole, = because of a hole, etc.

it drove off the road

he took again control = he took control again OR he again took control

Sra

Answer 2

P.S. For 2. Perhaps you mean "One morning..."

Sra