The second part....(drop the word "In")
more interesting than...
It was a very interesting story
Alex is very good at learning things
He had learned.... words...a little bit
He also catches things...
Eddie"s and Alex's Dad Ted
For three or four pages
That was a little boring but
The government will
of the government's reaction
The next day, ...
very loud with their demands
*(Why did you suddenly switch to "there ARE two million students" after you have told the rest of this in the past tense?
he was going to be in danger or in trouble.
a student who could speak English
and he said to meet him again.
He went to the university
If I were in his place
The students were (or The student was)
the government didn't agree to the demands.
Everybody was laid
horible, maybe the government would agree to their demands
Eddie and Ted couldn't send...there is or there was a material law.
Even Lao Xu couldn't (could not) help them...
but he said he would help them secretly.
they did not want him in trouble....he is on the government's side.
in the next part.
Decide first of all if you want to tell this in the "historical" present or the past and stay there.
Sra