The one you said you couldn't post? If you were trying to "cut and paste" it doesn't work here; you have to type everything out.
Venez voyez = Venez voir
Because the French word "la chance" usually means "luck," it would be better to substitute "la possibilité
Rencontrez (spelling)
à la palace de glace = au palais de glace
tous les événement à le carnival = tous les événements (must be plural also) au carnaval (check spelling)
et s'amuser. = amusez-vous (this must be a command as well)
Visiter au Québec et Voir Montréal, = Now that I see you telling someone(s) to do these things = Visitez Québec et voyez Montréal. la ville la plus grande city = you must drop the word "city" = la ville la plus grande...
est Montréal. = you need a clause relater here = Japan, qui est Montréal. OR Visitez "the Sister-City" (la ville-soeur) de Montréal, Hiroshima, Japan.
I still question the word "la siège" = seat, headquarters.
It's the place/spot? = C'est l'endroit du carnaval d'hiver. Since the word "ville" is feminine, the adjective "fortifiée" must be also. You need to capitalize the country "Le Mexique."
vous pouvez trouvez = vous pouvez trouver (it sounds the same, but it must be the infinitive "trouver" or you will have a run-on sentence (1 conjugated verb followed immediately by another)
I see you are still missing some of the corrections I made for you the other day. beacoup de musée d'art, = beaucoup (spelling) de musées (plural) = would you say "a lot of museum." OR "a lot of museums?"
quand vous êtes là = there is nothing wrong with that unless you have already studied "y" and "en" because it's better to say "quand vous y êtes. However, do NOT do that if you have not yet studied "y" and "en!"
Sra (aka Mme)