Asked by Aniston

I need help revising a MLK thesis statement.

"Martin Luther King Jr. uses structure and language to influence his readers."

very bland, i need a more popping one. any suggestions?
Answered by Writeacher
Is that the main idea of your paper? It's really not a thesis because there's no "you" in it ... that is, YOUR STANCE about his work.

What is YOUR OPINION about his writing? Give me one or two words.
Answered by Aniston
Inspirational, understanding

"Martin Luther King was a very inspirational man, and just like him, his writing doesn't fall behind. His ability to make the reader feel what he felt on a personal level is amazing."

Is that good?
Answered by Writeacher
Also, you need much more specific words than "structure" and "language."
Answered by Aniston
"Martin Luther King was a very inspirational man, and just like him, his writing doesn't fall behind. His ability to make the reader feel what he felt on a personal level is amazing."

is that good?
Answered by Writeacher
AND ... you'll need to decide if you'll write it all in past tense or all in present tense. Be consistent.
Answered by Writeacher
What you wrote is much better than the first one. How can you get rid of repetition, consolidate it into ONE sentence, and keep verb tense consistent?
Answered by Aniston
"Martin Luther King was a very inspirational man, and just like him, his writing doesn't fall behind, his ability to make the reader feel what he felt on a personal level is very intreeging. "??
Answered by Writeacher
Oh, please!!! You've now created a run-on without getting rid of repetition and wordiness!! You can do better!

Study this, and try again:
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
Answered by Aniston
"Martin Luther King was a very inspirational man, and just like him, his writing doesn't fall behind. "
Answered by Writeacher
Martin Luther King was a very inspirational man, and his writing allowed his audiences to feel what he felt.

"just like him" is grammatically questionable + wordy/redundant.

Do you understand the concept of keeping verb tenses consistent??
Answered by Aniston
I understand, sort of confusing at first. Thank you for your help and time, it's greatly appreciated.
Answered by Writeacher
No problem ... go write an A paper!
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