Wow! Thank you very much! Do you have any ideas about the items I listed at the bottom which I am not sure how to incorporate.
And, does my opening paragraph reflect an analytical thesis?
Do I discuss, describe, evaluate and show in my paper?
Is it logical and clear?
And, I need help with a closing paragraph.
Thanks so much in advance!!
Actually with the ideas at the bottom I think it can tell someone what those events where if they didn't know.Your opening paragragh reflects an analytical thesis wonderfully.It isn't just floating there it has reasons and purpose to be there.Throughout the essay you discussed everything perfectly and the same with dscribing and evaluating.Good Jod and your welcome...lol
P.S.If you don't me asking,What grade are you in?
10th grade thanks a lot!!!!
are you a teacher?
NO,I'm a student,I'm in Ib...I'm a 9th grader...lol
Request Feedback on the following essay and also how to incorporate some items:
The American Revolution and the French Revolution each majorily affected many people and how the countries were run. This essay will consider the impact of these two revolutions on economy, revolutionary thought, social,political and geographical structures-- similarities and differences of each.
Ofcourse, the main similarity is for sure, the plan for change. The European Age of Enlightenment in the early 1700's brought together the ideas of the Renaissance and the scientific revolution. Thetre was for the first time a group of philosiphers which believed that free people could build a better society. These ideas were at the root of both the American and French revolutions. There were supporters of ideas of Enlightenment from both france as well as America, such as, Voltaire, Diderot, Montewquieu, Rosseau and Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson, as well. It was John Locke who believed that people made a contract with their government to protect their natural rights, life, liberty and property. The populaiary of the idea of absolute monarchy declined greatly after the American and French revolutions which promoted theories of government based on popular sovereigntyu. The absolute control of the FRench king and his court was an unfair system of government, a government that was also bankrupt. On the political side of the American Revolution, a new government with elected representatives was formed under the articles of confederation.
Economically speaking some achievements, on the side of the American Revolution, was the lifting of the british trade restriction, which would allow for trade and in turn build economy. As for the French Revolution, economically, the extravagance of the rich, and the misery of the poor were extreme. Wehn the king needed even more taxes, the commoners refused which moved them from the unfair established economic classes of people in France.
That is all I have so far. I also want to tie intot he political area athat for the French revolution, the national assembly was formed to break from the king and form a new government based on a constitution.
And, Geographically,
American Revolution-the 13 colonies became the independent USA and were recogbnized by Great Britain.
Britian gave the US the land East of the Mississippi River, north to Canada and South to the border of Florida.
Some other ideas to expand on,.,,,
American Revolution-the successful reveolution encouraged other people, especially the french, to ocverthrow their own government.
French Revolution-Due in part to France's Fuedal arrangements, food was scarce, bread which was the main part of the peasants diet, was very high priced by the summer of 1789.
(9-1-91)
To me this essay is wonderful.I feel that you used very good vocabulary and that If I was grading this I would give it an A.Good Job!:)
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