Will someone look over my answers and think this is okay? The assignment is and I'm suppose to find the strengths and weaknesses.

Question

I am a new publisher with some really great books to sell. I saw your announcement in Publishers Weekly about the bookseller's show you're having this summer, and I think it's a great idea. Count me in, folks! I would like to get some space to show my books. I thought it would be a neat thing if I could do some live airbrushing on T-shirts to help promote my hot new title, T-Shirt Art. Before I got into publishing, I was an airbrush artist, and I could demonstrate my techniques. I've done hundreds of advertising illustrations and have been a sign painter all my life, so I'll also be promoting my other book, hot off the presses, How to Make Money in the Sign Painting Business.

I will be starting my PR campaign about May 2008 with ads in PW and some art trade papers, so my books should be well known by the time the show comes in August. In case you would like to use my appearance as part of your publicity, I have enclosed a biography and photo of myself.

P.S. Please let me know what it costs for booth space as soon as possible, so I can figure out whether I can afford to attend. Being a new publisher is mighty expensive!

My answers are:

Strengths:
used plain english-didnt use any slang.
spelling and grammar is correct
the letter has a purpose and was straight to the point

Weaknesses
there is no targer audience
message is not formal enough
didn't do any planning or organizing of the info
didn't use the you attitude, concentrated more on there self
used abbrevations
closed letter in a negitive way, ended using PS

Michael · Answer

Yes, your answers are very good. I especially like the weakness about not focusing on what the receiver of the letter has to gain by helping the publisher. The only suggestion that I might make would be changing "didn't do any planning or organizing of the info" to something like "could have planned and organized info better" because some planning and organization was done.

Cupcake · Answer

Ok, thanks for your feedback I really appreicate it.

PsyDAG · Answer

If "spelling and grammar is correct" is a strength for that communication, it is not a strength in your answer. Some errors include:

English, grammar, target, negative

I hope this helps a little more. Thanks for asking.