what is going on when one see's in his or herself something that they need to change, but they make the decision not to do so? How does this happen?

Answer 1

Linda: It is because of the nature of man, we are comfortable with what we are, and are complacent to live with it.
Until we become angry or frustrated with what we are, we won't change.

http://www.bayarea.net/~fonniepi/sharing/pete29.html
Those remarks, albeit very religious in nature, point out it is what we are inward that determines our nature.

Answer 2

See my response to your first post.